Saturday, June 14, 2008

Why Am I Crying?

Okay, moms....it's about 1:00am and I can't stop crying. I got on the FRAXA site to see if I could find a particular Quarterly issue (which I didn't), and there was a You Tube video. I guess after watching it, I realized how alone I really feel in all this. The funny part is, I'm not. But I still feel that way. To see those kids on there so much like Ian...to hear the stories from the parents (particularly about goof-ball pediatricians who kept saying "don't worry about it, he'll catch up" UGH!)...etc. Just tonight, trying to brush his teeth, I wondered if this would ever get better. Well, then they showed an older boy who's dad still had to brush his teeth, and he still didn't like it. A mom who still drives by kids' ball games with sadness....

I need to regroup! I just want to go in and hug and kiss all over my kids! Of course, if I do at this hour, there'll be absolutely no chance of sleep for me.

Dad is away for the night with men from our church, doing 'guy things'. I'm so glad he decided to go. I only wish it was more than just overnight. He starts teaching summer school Monday and he's not looking forward to it. But, better some time than no time. He's such a great husband and dad.

On a better note, we painted Avery's room. It's a light, light purple (like lilac'ish). It looks great with her new furniture. It still didn't do the trick of getting her to want to sleep in her room....the dogs are still there on the other side of the fence and she knows it. She reminded me tonight that she didn't like our neighbor's dogs. But, she's working on it. Jim stopped sleeping on her floor about a week ago. The dog sleeps in there now (partially against his will). The great news is she went to bed tonight very easily. No tears, no manipulation tricks. I think we finally might be getting somewhere!

Ben is standing up against anything he can now. I can tell he really wants to let go and take off, but his little body just can't do it quite yet. One thing I'm excited about is that when Ian was 14 months, he didn't really seem to even have the desire to walk. I think Benajmin watches his brother and sister and wants to join in all the reindeer games!

Gotta go before it's time for the kids to get up. And yes, I did stop crying.

6 comments:

Umma said...

I wish I had something profound and uplifting to say. I've been there with you with those middle of the night worries. I hope you were able to get some sleep.

Kristiem10 said...

I know how you feel. Are you planning on going to the conference in St Louis? You really should. It is am amazing experience, and even more than the info you learn, you will appreciate the chance to talk with other parents of kids with Fragile X. You can sit down and really talk with them, and they know exactly what you are going through.

Jen said...

I understand your feelings. My comment was longer, but I decided to put it in my blog...

Paula Fasciano said...

awwww...sometimes you just have to go on and cry...it's the only thing that makes you feel better.
And your fellow FX blogging moms are all here...so you really are NEVER alone....hugs to you. Will we meet in St. Louis?

Nancy said...

Though our circumstances are different I understand your pain. It's good to cry every once in a while. I just try to be sure I cry in God's arms and not alone as I am sometimes prone to do.
Have a great week!
Nancy

Betsy said...

Although we're dealing with autism instead of frag x, I can still relate to some of this. My triplets are 14 and I still brush their teeth, dry them off out of the tub, shampoo their hair...I even have one to still complete the potty training. It is painful to see their "normal" peers at school...at a ball game....at a school concert. Big, Big hugs to you...BIG HUGS!