Thursday, March 27, 2008

A Lot of Grace Required

I hope I'm allowed more than one entry per day.

I've decided that people who have not been blessed with a child that teaches you even more than the 'typical' child, require a lot of grace. One day, you're being told, "Hey, you don't know what the future will hold. You don't know what your child will be able to do that you didn't think he/she could do. You don't know how God is going to bless you in all this. Etc., etc., etc. Then, if the mention of the possibility of another child comes in the picture, you're told, "What!? Why would you do that when you don't know what the future will hold for what you have now?" Hmmmmm, see the dilemma? I realize there is concern, but why should I be the only one looking to a bright future? Why can't everyone else as well? I have wonderful children, and while I do have plenty of days that I worry about what the future will hold for them and the things they may or may not miss out on, I also have days where I really am excited about what God has in store for us. My life verse (even before knowing I would have special needs kids) has always been Jeremiah 29:11-13. The Lord DOES know the plans He has for us. And we don't make decisions without asking Him for guidance first.

Okay, I know this is all rambling to you all because you have no idea what I'm talking about. BUT, I'm sure you've had circumstances that cause you to relate to what I'm saying. I just needed to get this off my chest. I just know I need a lot of grace for friends and family because they are NOT in our circumstance 24/7/365. I need to remember that, and not expect them to understand all our decisions as if they were. That's not fair to them. I shouldn't expect our decisions to be okay with others all the time (nor do we really worry too much about what others think when we make decisions for the betterment of OUR children), but is it too much to ask for others to respect our decisions, whether they agree or not? We will make mistakes and I realize this...we've made enough already. :) This is also where I need a lot of grace, because I too was once without children. Oooo, how the things we say can come back and haunt us!

Okay, I think I feel better now. These feelings actually came out of combined circumstances starting from about and year and 1/2 ago. Thanks for, reading!


Jen said...

A subject I have familiarity with! I KNOW that there were people talking about our circumstances when I got pregnant with Evan. Some people would ask me while I was pregnant if we knew about his FX status, and that was fine, because they were doing so in a friendly manner. I would rather have had people ask me directly than talk behind my back about it (not that it really mattered if they did). I had a pretty good idea of who was happy for us, and who thought "What are they thinking!?" Oh well.
As far as what the future holds....NOBODY here on earth knows what's in store for each of us. A lot can happen in a lifetime to the baby born with no chromosomal abnormalities. My boys are fine young men, and I am so proud of them!

Hidi Family said...

Familiarity! We did not attend the conference in GA. We just found out about our son's condition in December of 2007. We did not know about FX until then.

FXSmom said...

I can relate. It would be a perfect world if others respected our thoughts and decisions even if they don't mirror their own.

Betsy said...

Preach it, sister! :) I love that verse in Jeremiah, too!

Kristiem10 said...

I can relate. And Jer. 29:11 is my favorite verse as well.

Paula Fasciano said...

I loved your reassures me that we (moms of kids like ours) are NOT alone...we all share the same emotions, fears, etc...I love that you were able to write it all down. All in a days work!