God is Great at Finding!

Whenever I've searched and searched for something and can't find it, and I find myself getting really frustrated, I pray and ask God to help me find it.  I have to say, it has worked every time!  I may not find it right away, but it eventually shows up, usually within a day or so.  And no, I don't think it's coincidence.  I believe it's God, caring about even the small things in my life.

So, the other morning I'm trying to get all the kids ready for school.  Ian wants his microphone and he can't find it.  I try to tell him he'll have to wait until after school because I don't have time to look for it.  He's gotten way better at actually looking for things himself now, but after a while of not being able to find something, he starts the whining.  ARGH!  (However, not much different than myself!)  This particular morning I decided that we would ask God to find it.  Never waste a good teaching moment, I say.  So, I told Ian we were going to pray and ask God to find his microphone.  We did just that.  I asked Him to help Ian find it before school, but if He didn't, then that I would stumble upon it during the day (because I definitely would not remember to purposefully look for it).  I continued on getting the kids ready for school and Ian seemed satisfied.

About 5 or 10 minutes later here's the conversation:

Ian:  "I found it!"
Mom: "Yea!  Who did we ask to help you find your microphone?"
Ian:  "God"
Mom: "So who should you thank?"
Ian: "God"

What a fantabulous teaching moment!  What a fantabulous boy!  What a fantabulous God!

Baseball Practice, Games, and Gymnastics

Yes, it does my heart good!  I actually get to say, "We have baseball practice", "No, can't do that because we have a baseball game", "Oh, maybe later, but at that time I have to take Avery to gymnastics".     Ahhhh, the joy of feeling like a normal mom for a bit.    Sounds crazy, I know.  But it really feels 'normal'.  Honestly, how often do I get that in my life?  Exactly.

We didn't put Ian in baseball in the spring because he complained too much about it....and it was hot.  Heat and Ian don't mix well.   For fall, I decided to sign him up and see what happened.   So far, so good.  It's Miracle League baseball, so it's not real taxing on him and they have a lot of fun.  This year, the coach has practices (Jim laughs).  But I think it works out much better because Ian gets to be with the kids more than just showing up at a game once a week.  He gets to get more involved in the game too.  He's even started to get out his baseball and bat at home (could be scary).   Basically, on practice nights, I just pack him up in the van and don't tell him where we're going.  That way he can't really think about not wanting to go.  Then on game day, I don't make a big deal as he's putting on his uniform.   If I don't make a big deal, he doesn't seem to make a big deal.   Since Jim is not exactly "Mr. Positive" with the whole thing, I've freed him from having to take him to any of the games and practices.  Works for both of us.  I get to take Ian and jabber with the other moms for an hour, and Jim gets to stay home with the other 2 kids.  :)

Avery has surprised the heck out of me with gymnastics.  A friend of hers and her enrolled for the same class, which helped her not be so nervous.  But even since the first time, she really didn't seem to have any anxiety.  After her free introductory class, she said she wanted to sign up.  It's been really good for her.  I know it's helping to strengthen her poor little low toned muscles.  She works them hard.  After her second class, she's still enjoying it and looks forward to going.  And me????  Well, I get to sit and jabber with the other moms, of course!

A Bit of Wisdom Please

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  And the seed whose fruit is rightousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." 

James 3:17, 18

As another school year begins, so does another year of unknowns.  Three fragile X kids in three different schools.  A daughter who is great at comprehension struggles so very hard at math and is so very timid.  Youngest son who is over the charts on cuteness but struggles at obeying and rules and potty training (typical though) and impulsivity and basically anything that would create order.  Oldest son, who has been a people pleaser is now deciding to hang on the fence of rebellion....going just so far enough to get a reaction (I think he prefers negative).  This same son who generally seems to regret his actions, showing sadness & sorrow, impulsively scratches his brother and pulls his sister's hair, or messes up what sister has worked so hard on.  Three children whom I love and adore dearly and could not imagine my life without.

My dilemma?

In the school and out of the school, I MUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO EXERCISE WISDOM.  Wisdom within the fragile X realm (and many others) means overlooking some things the parent of typical kids would not.  It also means having zero tolerance for things the parent of typical kid would say "aww, cut him some slack".  Wisdom... knowing how much they can handle before it's time to take a break.  Wisdom... trying to learn about why they respond the way they do in certain circumstances, as well as knowing when I don't have to know why.  Wisdom...knowing when not to take them to a particular function because it will cause more anxiety than joy for them.  Wisdom...when to know when/how to confront a teacher or situation and when to be patient.

Wisdom...to know how to bless my daughter who, because she is not as negatively affected as the boys, takes on greater responsibilities.  Wisdom...to know how to explain why she has to do this or not but the boys do not.  Wisdom...to know how to get Ian to keep on reading this or that book, even through the whining and fits.  Wisdom...to know how to get him to eat using utensils.  Wisdom...to know how to get Benjamin to understand authority at home and at school.  Wisdom...to know how to roll with the punches (which I've gotten quite good at) and how to have fun with my children....even when that means pulling out the paints knowing full well it will end up on places that will just not wash off.  It means having fun with them sloshing around in the rain (which I like to do anyway).  Wisdom...how to balance everything and everyone in my family while at the same time making time for me.  Wisdom...making sure my husband and I get date nights and times to really connect and see how the other is doing in our mahem.  Wisdom....to not get lazy in this.  Wisdom.... even so much more.

 

But the most important and crucial of all is seeking the wisdom that comes from above.  All the wisdom needed listed above and all the others not even mentioned on my list can only be truly accomplished when I seek out and ask my God for that wisdom. He has given me the signs to look for to discern if I am accepting His wisdom in my life.  Read the words - I do - everytime I ask for wisdom in a situation and I try my best to be sure it encompasses these words when I follow through.....pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  If I seek out seed whose fruit is rightousness, it will be sown in peace, and I will have become a peacemaker.  What a wonderful thought!

The first day I decided to use this verse with schooling my children and with my family, I prayed over it before I started to do some school with Avery.  The result?  Well, ummm, I wish I could say it was incredible.  Instead, I was an incredible failure!  We both ended up in tears....over math!  Ugh!  But with every yuck in life comes a beautiful life lesson or two if we are willing to look for them.

1.  I always try to make it a point to model humility with my children.  I apologize whenever the time calls for it.  In this case, it screamed for it.  So I did.   She, in turn (with a little help from me), apologized for her part as well.  It was a very sweet time.

2.  God led me to another verse from James:  "He gives a greater grace." (James 4:6)   My God gives greater grace.  Grace greater.  Grace is His ability to enable me to be who He has called me to be and to do what He has called me to do.

So, basically when I fail....that's okay.  I go back to Him who gives greater grace.  I don't quit.

Stitches and Poster Child

So, I go out with a girlfriend the other night.  We're on our way home and Jim calls me to tell me Avery has cut her eye.  He thinks it might need stitches.  We get home and sure enough, small but deep gash above her eyebrow.  We both freak at the thought of how much she would freak at the thought of stitches.  Shots are horrifying enough for her.  So Jim kindly says, "You take her".  Thanks.  Luckily, my dear friend offers to go with us.  We calm Avery down and she sweetly reminds herself that mommy and daddy will do what they know is best for her.  Fast forward.....

We're at the children's urgent care.  No tears so far.  They have put a numbing gel on the wound.  The stitcher guy is great!  On her level, he basically tells her everything that's going to happen.  He gives her an I-touch to watch.  He never even had to give her a shot of more numbing stuff... the gel did the job.  Fast forward.....

Five stitches later......Avery is standing in front of the door.  I asked her to move away before someone banged the door on her and she had to get more stitches.  She looks at me with this blank stare and asks, "Did I get stitches?"  I say yes.  She says, "I didn't even cry!!"

I was sooooooo proud of her.  So at 11:30pm, I treat her to a Sonic shake.  By the time we got home at midnight, she (we) was one tired little princess.

Who's the poster child you ask?  That would be Ian.  We've dubbed him the new poster child for Costco's Deli Chicken Salad.  We took Ian and Avery shopping at Costco with us (Ian did fabulous!  What a helper!).  They have samples around the store.  We stop to sample the chicken salad.  Typically, Ian like chicken salad, so we let him have the cracker with the salad on it.  He takes a bite.  As the guy is raving about how great the chicken salad is, Ian proceeds to vomit his up....luckily there was a trash can handy.  Yep, people who were on their way to get their sample....walked on by.   :)

Seriously? Vomit the last day?

Well, we are officially on summer vacation today.  Avery's school ended the 15th.  The boys' ended yesterday.

Although I know I'll still see the teachers in the hallways next year, it was so hard to say goodbye to Benjamin's teachers.  We've had this team for 5 years (3 with Ian, 2 with Benjamin).  They are incredible.  Hard to believe there will be no more PPCD for us.  It's on to kindergarten for my little Benjamin.  He walked out of school a happy little guy....no idea it was his last day. :)   He'll start ESY on the 11th and go for a whole whopping 8 or so days.  (Thank you very little to the school 'budget').

Ian went out with a bang.  Well, more like, with a gag.  Jim got a call from his teacher about 2 hours before the end of the school day.  He had vomited at lunch so I needed to pick him up.  I know if a kid vomits, they have to assume he's sick.  Well, joke's on them.  He just vomits....it's what he does.  He probably didn't like a particular smell in the cafeteria (can you blame him?).  So, I went to get him.  I can honestly say that this was the worst school year I've experienced with any of my kids so far.  It's not that the teachers/admins were not nice.  Hard to explain, but I'm sure most of you can relate.  I've learned a lot from the year though.  I took a lot of notes of how to and how not to handle certain things.

But, as for Ian, he had a happy year.  Overall, that makes me happy.  I was sad the last day because coming home early meant he would not get to say bye to the bus driver and assistant.  They were great!  Ian had them cracking up everyday when he got off the bus.  Ian starts ESY in July.  I'll have to be sure to blog about that experience....it's a whole new way for him this year.  It's a collaboration with YMCA camp.  Hmmmmm.  I had a meeting with the lady who heads the program on the school side.  Sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet lady!  Loved her!   Jim and I went back and forth about having him go or not, after learning some new information that we weren't informed of in the ARD meeting.  In the end, we decided to give it a try.  If all works well in a couple of areas, I think it'll be great for Ian.  Is there EVER going to be a time when there aren't any worries about the things he does?   Ever?   Yeah, probably not.  :)   That's okay....he's worth every bit of it!

Goals for the summer?

Avery:  Learn to ride a bike (yes, we're slackers!);  Learn to swim (swim lessons start next week)
Benjamin: Potty training (still, argh!) - I'll be happy with pee'ing in the potty.....poop in the potty would be a plus.
Ian:  Wake up later than 5:00 A.M.

Here's a few pics of boys during their awards programs:

So Proud

Well we just hit 2 weeks off school. Ian and Benjamin go back tomorrow. I have to say, I usually get really anxious when I know we're going to have that much time off. And this time was no different.

However, the kids did so incredibly well over the time off. That was even traveling by car out of state too. We had no major meltdowns or injuries. There was lots of time of playing nicely together. No illnesses. Wow, what more could I ask for? I would say the biggest problem was when we were with another smaller family member who has a hard time 'understanding' Ian anyway. That was par for course and nothing unusual.

I also forgot to mention that we increased Ian's dose of clonidine to a .2mg pill a day. He still takes 1/4 of the pill in the A.M. and afternoon, and 1/2 pill at bedtime. We're thinking this increase may have contributed to Ian's positive behavior. He's never had the dose increased since he started taking it a couple years ago.

Another step in the right direction is that while we were out of town, Ian decided that instead of saying 'shut-up' (which he picked up and brought home from school - getting disciplined when he'd say it), he would say 'be quiet'. We praised him a lot for this and are very proud of him. We still catch him saying 'shut-up' every once in a while. And he still gets in trouble for it. Now we have to get Benjamin to stop saying it!

On 3 different occasions (not in a row), Benjamin has come to me to tell me he has to go potty and then goes to the bathroom and does it! Treat time!!!!! On of those times he was in the bathtub and told me he had to pee. So I told him to get out and pee. He did. Now that would make any mama proud!

my little baseball player

Ian joined Miracle League and had his first game this past weekend. He had so much fun, and looked so proud. Oh, he looked like such a big boy in his uniform. Since this is the first time we really even let him have a bat in his hand, he did much better using a tee. The first time he hit the ball, he stood there until his buddy led him to the base. When it was time to run to 2nd, he actually ran....and then kept running. Every seen Forest Gump? Uh-huh.

The next time he hit the ball (at least I think he hit it), he decided to run to 3rd base. Not quite sure where his buddy was, but he came back to get Ian and lead him to 1st.

In the outfield he mostly liked talking to his buddy. When a ball rolled out to him, he picked it up, looked like he was going to throw it toward the infield. But then he turned instead and threw it over the fence. He did this twice.

They don't have 'winners/losers' and basically everyone gets to score. He seemed to enjoy it and enjoyed high-fivin' the other players and buddies. I sure enjoyed watching him.

Okay, can't get pictures to open up, so those will have to come next time.

Blanket Mahem

So, there's this blanket that Avery is EXTREMELY attached to, and has been since, oh about...BIRTH! We're rushing about this morning, trying not to be late for her second day of school. She goes into her room, comes out crying and mumbling something I can't understand because she's crying so much. Ian was in her room too, so of course I thought he hit or something. Uh-uh....way worse.

Once I could finally understand her, these were her words, "Ian barfed on my blanket! Now it's ruined!" (more crying continues) Sure enough, poor Ian had vomited in her room, on her blanket and elsewhere.

After all humans and belongings got cleaned up, we managed to convince Avery that I would get her blanket washed and dried and good as new before she even got home from school. And so it is.

Oh, the pains of life. And yes, I got her to school on time...thanks to Jim helping to clean up, getting the boys dressed, and taking them to his school with him until I dropped her off. Love you honey!

Graduates

I have 2 kindergarten graduates this year. I never really understood, or got into, the whole kindergarten graduation thing. I think it's a bit silly, but that's just my opinion. I go along with it. And yes, they do look really cute in the cap.

This was Ian's second (and last) year of kindergarten. Next year is going to be a whole new ballgame for him, including a new school (where he will no longer be with Daddy.....Mommy's not a happy camper). Ian did such a great job during his 'ceremony'. They sang two songs first. Ian sang the words (I watched his lips) and did the right hand movements. He never touched or annoyed anyone around him. Then he sat right down with the rest of the group. He walked back up to stage to get his 'diploma' and back down to his seat again. It was great.

Avery will also be doing something new next year. Still pondering our final decision. She has done fabulous at her school over the last 4 years.

Okay, Avery's graduation experience was not quite as easy as Ian's. When both classes got on stage to sing their songs, I noticed Avery was not there. When I saw her teacher, she had a horrified look on her face and was asking me if I'd seen Avery. Uh-oh. Well, we found her in the hallway. She refused to go in. Another teacher finally coaxed her in, but she was NOT about to get on stage. When it was time for her to get her 'diploma', the music teacher had to coax and lead her up. Ugh. She walked ever so slowly to her teacher, then walked ever so slowly down to the "X" for her picture. When it was time to walk off, my wonderful mommy friends all clapped for her.

Benjamin obviously did not have a kindergarten graduation or kindergarten anything since he's still in pre-K. He had a beach day. Lucky for me, Daddy took the pictures and I did not have to endure the heat. Benjamin, who typically LOVES water, was way more interested in the trikes. Oh well, he had fun.


This picture has absolutely nothing to do with school, I know. I included her because she's so darn cute. This is my great-niece. Adorable, huh!!!

McDonalds Here We Come!

It's a wonderful day here in our household. First, Ian has been really good, behavior-wise. He's been enjoyable for the other kids to play with, and receptive to discipline when needed. But that's not the best of it....

I put underwear on both the boys today (knowing full well it's a risk with Benjamin in particular). Ian was playing with the other kids. All of a sudden I saw him dart across the house to the bathroom and shut the door. So I sneaked over to listen. Sure enough....pee! ALL BY HIMSELF! I am so stinkin' proud of him! And I let him know it! Wish you could have seen his proud face!

When the timer went off, I took Benjamin...totally against his will. Sat him down, and man...he pee'd a large river! But his underwear was dry. So, he got the accolades as well. (Especially at the thought of what it would have been like had he pee'd all that in his underwear!)

What would have made these proud moments better? Well, obviously if it would have been poop that Ian did in the toilet. And if Benjamin would have run to the bathroom himself to relieve all that liquid. BUT HEY! Ya take what ya get, and ya don't throw a fit, right? RIGHT! I'm lovin' it.

Oh, I forget to mention, that all this equals McDonalds time. Ian thinks we're going because he went potty by himself, Benjamin thinks we're going because he stayed dry and pee'd alot in the toilet, and Avery thinks we're going just because she's a little princess. Truth is....they're all correct!

The Sweetest Moments

For Jim and I, one of our biggest desires as parents is to know that our children are growing up seeing Jesus in us. We often wonder if that is the case...you know, at those moments where you just 'lose it'. Well, God has shown me otherwise in my children. Just today, I can list the sweetest moments.....watching Ian singing during worship time at church, hands raised, eyes closed, voice loud....Avery in her room singing "Jesus Loves Me" and "This Little Light of Mine"....Avery telling me her version of Noah and the Ark and Jonah and the Big Fish.

If it's such complete joy to my heart, I can only imagine what joy it must bring to their Father in heaven!!!!

Avery saying: Playing hide and seek, Avery's turn to count. Avery: "Okay, it's my turn to count. Hide someplace I can find you."

it's a new day

happier entry today. sorry but my shift key has a mind of its own today, so all lower-caps and no great punctuation marks. if you happen to see one, it's because the shift key decided to work at that moment in time.

First, Avery...


This is baby addison. She is Avery's reward for her not sucking her finger anymore. it's been over 2 months now and we don't use the 'anti-finger-sucking' polish anymore. i recommend it to anyone working on the task of removing a finger or thumb. it's called Mavala Stop. heard about it from a friend and ordered it from Amazon.

Avery is extremely proud of her infant baby alive. she takes very good care of her and loves being a 'mom'. When her teacher asks her what she wants to be when she grows up, she always says 'a mom'. hmmm, does she like me that much? yep. This picture is of Addison ...which is what she named her .... buckled in the carseat while Avery is away at school. She told me to take care of her and feed her. i said i would. Don't tell her i accidently left her in the car all day.

Now ian....


yes, we actually have a tooth now. i was helping ian brush his teeth, when all of a sudden i see this white thing on his tongue and blood in his mouth. i freaked with excitement at the thought of actually having one of his teeth. So, of course, this made him freak..luckily with laughter. i pushed his head forward and the tooth came close enough to his lip for me to grab it....no, i was not about to risk losing a finger by putting it inside his mouth. Then i had him try to spit as much blood as he could into the sink. i don't know about your child's spitting techniques, but mine have a lot to be desired. but overall he did pretty good. he was laughing so much that i can't believe he never vomited. bleeding finally stopped, and i'm a proud mom of a tooth that didn't go m.i.a.

Finally, benjamin...


And here is benjamin displaying his pride in his new boots from Christmas. After seeing how much he loved putting on ian's boots...and anybody else's he could find...we finally decided he needed a pair of his own. he wants to wear nothing else. Literally, he would be fine butt naked with the boots. he is sooooooo stinkin' adorable..exclamation point.

Another Tooth Bites the Dust

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for one of Avery's teeth to come out because the replacement tooth has already come in behind it. It is so loose, I just want to 'pop' it out. But she will have nothing to do with it. It's practically just hanging there.

In the meantime, Ian is talking to me this morning and what do I notice? A tooth gone! We have yet to actually see one of Ian's teeth that has come out. All we see is a hole in his mouth. I didn't even know that particular tooth was loose! I've been watching another one that's loose.

I figure he either lost it in his bed or he swallowed it. Hmmmm, I think I'll just stick to searching his bed for it.

Looks Innocent, Right?

Ian looks innocent enough holding these wooden mallets, right?.
BUT....add in the words he is saying....., "Bennnnn....come here....NOW!" Not so innocent anymore!

Bitter Sweet Field Trip

Well, I went to Ian's first field trip of the year. Ian had a great time. Mom had a difficult time. I was in tears before we left and almost left early. I felt like an idiot having the teachers try to console me. Will I ever get past all this? Okay, here's what happened.

First, it's so hard on my heart when I see the kids have difficulty with Ian. They tell the teacher every time he even touches them (and I caught one that told when Ian never even touched him). And when Ian gets a little (okay, a lot) loud, I can see some annoyance in their faces. Okay, now let me give the real story. I am WAY hyper-sensitive to all of it. Truth is, the kids weren't really that bad. But to me, that's what I see.

Second, I felt it was best if Ian didn't ride this wagon pulling tractor thing. No adults could go on it, and if Ian had an inkling to stand up, he could have easily fallen out of the moving vehicle. The risk wasn't worth it to me. Did Ian care? NO! He happily waved bye to the other kids. Me, however.....I hated it. I hated that I even had to think about any risks. I teared up a bit at this point, but managed to suck it up because they were going on a hayride right after (adults allowed).

Third, while the kids were on this ride, we thought Ian had a poopy. Due to a miscommunication, the school did not bring the pull-ups I packed in his backpack (the same backpack his sack lunch was packed in). Luckily, I had one in the van. The walk to the van was a nightmare. I couldn't get Ian to understand that he wasn't leaving, but we had to change him. He screamed, he got angry, and he plopped himself down several times. We get to the van, I took his pull-up off....it wasn't even dirty!!!! He must have just had gas. Now this meant: 1) no more pull-ups left cause I had to put the extra one on him after I ripped off the one he had on; 2) I put him through all that for no reason. I felt horrible. Now in hindsight, he was probably trying to tell me he wasn't dirty.

Fourth, because of that whole episode, Ian missed the actual hayride! Again, he didn't care. I don't think he even knew. But I did. So, as we stood there waiting for them to return, I choked back my tears and decided it was probably best for me to leave (I met the school bus there). When I tried to tell his teacher and the aides......the river flooded. I couldn't open my mouth without crying. I'm sure they thought I was a crazed parent. I told them Ian was doing great, but that my heart just couldn't handle it. They were so sweet, and I see the concern on their faces. Long story short, they talked me into staying. I'm glad I did. Ian really did do a great job and had great fun, and the other kids really did do great with him.

I just want to feel like a normal parent sometimes, instead of always worrying or getting upset over the 'missed' things, especially when it never seems to upset him. Argh!

Let's Catch Up!

Been too long. Everytime I go to sit at the computer, I decide I'm too brain dead to try to put things into words. Not to mention, that on an open blog, one can really only include so many words. Remember that "big brother watching" thing. One day, maybe I'll do an 'invitation only' blog. Doubt it. Here goes my life thus far. Luckily, can't complain. God is still not only good, but faithful in the busy and crazy times.

I went on my semi-annual scrapbook retreat a couple weekends ago. BTW, I'm proud that this is one of my hobbies and know my children will sooooo appreciate and enjoy it as well in the future. I can't imagine not leaving them with something so concrete. Beats all the money in the world or any computer/disk or other techno form...IMO - which I am well aware is not asked for. (unless of course, that's the way you enjoy doing it or if busy days, busy kids, busy lives don't allow for the concrete stuff....totally understandable, no offending intended - after all, I only have 1st year for each kid) Okay, done with the rant. Anymore, the time away is not soley about getting books done (although we do work LATE into the night/early morning). It's become so much more of a ladies' social, strengthening, encouragement, just plain fun time! And they let me act like a kook(?) as much as I want. What more could you ask for? Well, this time, they outdid me. I don't know if you remember 'the stuffed pheasant' from the last several stays there. It's part of the decor in one of the rooms. Why it's part of the decor, I'll never figure out. Anyhoo, the joke between my grand friend and me is to hide the ugly bird in the other one's belongings. It shows up in the darndest places. This time, a few of the ladies decided to go on a walk. I asked them to take my camera to take some pics of the wildflower fields and whatever. My mistake. They took the 'whatever' to the max. They took the pheasant along for the walk. I've only included a small number of the large number of pics they took of the bird's adventure. I was laughing so hard when I saw the pics, I had tears.





While I was gone, Jim texted me that Ian lost a top front tooth. You all know that when Ian 'loses' a tooth, he literally 'loses' it. About 20 minutes later he texted again with a picture, revealing that he had by that time lost both top teeth! Ian told our friend that he swallowed them. Hmmmmm????
Benjamin had his ARD meeting with the school last week. It went fine. He just had his last session with ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) and will start in his PPCD class on Monday...the day after he turns 3. OMG! I will cry. He's my baby.....and quite the mamma's boy at that. I've also included a pic of yet another black eye. Yes, right before his bday party. No one's sure what happened. Avery told us she accidently fell on him with the chair. All we know is there was bleeding and crying. But, he recovered, as you can tell by the adorable smile.

Last Friday I had a procedure done at my GYN's office called an endometrial ablation. Read about it if you'd like. I'm sure most have heard of it. I'm hoping I get the results I'd like. It was not a big deal to get done. My wonderful MIL took me. They put an IV in to knock me out. Next thing I knew, I was awake, groggy, being given instructions, and heading home. I slept most of the day and took one pain med and ibruprofen for cramping all day. By the next day, I felt fine. By yesterday, I was running (in great weather BTW).

These 3 pics are the reason I should get mom of the year. :) These are 3 reward/extrensic motivators we use. The pizza is to work on toilet training with Ian. You know, to bribe him to stay dry and to pee and poop ON THE TOILET. When he fills up the pizza pie, he gets to order a pizza. Now, if he poops on the potty, we skip straight to ordering a pizza. The two charts are for Ian and Avery. When they do something 'above and beyond' to make us proud, they get a smiley face. If they get 3 by the end of the day, they get a treat. The little board maker cards are 'treasure box' cards. If they have at least one card left by the end of the day, they get to choose something from their treasure box. With all these, we still also use spankings when needed and time out. Life seems like one big game of reward/discipline.


The sandbox is compliments of my wonderful FIL. He built it for the kids! He's so awesome!
This is a random pic from Easter, just cause I like it.

Last thing. I went out running last night on my usual route. I noticed a bunch of emergency vehicles ahead of me in the neighborhood. I knew whatever it was, they weren't going to let me pass, so I changed routes. We watched the news and found out that a gang related shooting death took place.....20 minutes before I went out to run! Just the fact it happened in our neighborhood (actually about 1 mile away) was enough to freak me out. But then when I think I could have been running by as it happened really freaked me out. Jim is definitely getting strict on not letting me run later in the evenings.

Well, I hope you made it all the way through this. I know it was long. Hopefully I won't wait so long next time!

My Boy Can Read!

Oh yes, I am extremely excited. I think I scared the pants off Ian. I think I told ya'll about the Bob Books. If not, they're great, in my opinion. I've been using them to help start Avery into reading. They keep with pretty much the same words within a book, keep a lot of them into the next book while adding a new word or two and using a new word family.

Well, Ian has this thing they do from school. If he reads 10 books in the month, he gets a pizza coupon....could it get any better for him! He's made it one month, but I've had trouble getting any books on there the last couple of months. Obviously, I don't wait until he can read the book fluently by himself (he might be in 3rd grade by then :) ). So, I consider his abilities when deciding when to write the book down as "read". Well, I decided to try a Bob Book since it's a great beginner. I pointed to the words, and here's what HE read, totally on his own. "Dot had a cat." Next page: "Cat had a hat." And he continued to read the rest of the pages (about 6). He got caught up on 'sad' (called it 'said') and 'on' (called it 'no'). It was very obvious after watching him read the book that he has been learning the site words at school very well.

After he read the first page, I screamed...yes, screamed. He looked at me like I was nuts. We high fived over and over and I told him how proud I was of him over and over. He looked like a very proud peacock. After I showed Jim what he could do (he usually thinks I exaggerate until he sees it himself), he told his teacher and the head of the program. They wanted me to send the book to school so he could read it there too.

Then, yesterday, Ian's aid told Jim something he did. They had 2 sets of cards. One set had shape words on it (trapezoid, rhombus, circle, triangle, square, rectangle). The other set had the shapes on them. He was to match the shape names with the correct shape. He read each shape name and matched it to it's correct shape. He did call the rhombus a diamond...that's because it looked like one the way they drew it. :)

I was thinking a lot about Ian last night on my run. And about the rest of you. I was thinking about how much rejoicing we've all had and great it has been to share it all. I was thinking about how the Lord really uses the little things in life to remind us how big He is. I don't know where the rest of you stand, but I know without a doubt that I would definitely not be seeing things the same way if it were not for my Jesus. Do I wish sometimes ( a lot) that I had 'typical' kiddos? Sure. I'd be lying if I said otherwise. But would I ever change my kids or switch them out? NO WAY! Life will always have it's tough rides (whether I had FX kids or not). So why not learn to watch for these wonderful moments and let them outweigh the heavy ones! Something I have to continue learning everyday. But I sure feel like I'm further ahead than I was on diagnosis day!

Hodge Podge

Hope you all had a fun Valentine's weekend. We're putting ours off for a few weeks when we get a short overnight getaway.

Not a lot going on around here. I just got back in town from visiting my great niece. She's just as beautiful (more) in person. Seems like a really content baby. Mommy and Daddy are doing great, and will definitely never be lacking in babysitters between grandma and other aunt! They actually argue over who will watch her! Anyway, it was great to see my family.

We had record snow here last week. I know for some of you, our measly 11 inches doesn't compare, but it was great. This makes the 3rd time it's snowed this season. This time it was nice packy snow so the kids got to have snowball fights and build a snowman. My little Ian, who seems to have ZERO ability to know when something hurts, kept taking off his mittens to use his hands. We were too afraid he'd get frostbite and wouldn't even feel it. I don't know how he does it. Well, we all had a good time. Wish I had pictures ready to post.

Benjamin did a new thing a few days ago. I'd forgotten about this til now. He went to the bathtub faucet, pointed to it, and said, "water". So cute.

That's about it for the hodge podge. Just wanted to be sure I didn't stay off from writing for too long.

Stop Procrastinating!

Oh, I'm such a procrasinator! Can't stand it, but it's true. Can I say it's the FX part of me? Sure, why not. I'm working on switching back to our old neurologist. I FINALLY called their office and left a message. I asked for the doctor to be the one to call back so I could ask him directly some questions. I want to know if he'd be more open to researching than our current one is. So, if he's actually the one to call me back, I will be extremely impressed.

I'm also working on taking advantage of services Ian and Benjamin just received from In Home and Family Support. I got an email from our rep who informed me they were running out of funds so she wanted to get us the services we want. Problem is, I'm not sure what they are. I know one would be Hippotherapy. Again, I've got to get on the ball. I need to call our insurance company first to see if they cover it...doubt it though. I also have to get a script from our pediatrician. The other thing I'm hoping for is a device for Benjamin to help with his speech/communication, as well as computer programs that might help out. Gotta get on-line to see what's out there! So, these are my goals for this week. IF ANY OF YOU KNOWS OF ANY GOOD SOFTWARE PROGRAMS, CD'S, DVD'S, OR BOOKS FOR THE KIDS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! ANYTHING EDUCATIONAL OR DEVELOPMENTAL (SPEECH/COMMUNICATION DEVELOPMENT).

Jim and I have been talking about totally enclosing in our back patio. Currently, it's closed in, but with screens and screen door and pebble-rock ground. So, it's still more outdoors like than indoors. We have absolutely NO idea how to even begin...who to talk to to see how much it will cost us. I'm hoping we can even afford it. The reason we want to do it is so that we could use it as a school room for the kids. I decided if I'm really going to do what I can to home-school, then I have to have a place for it (schooling and all the schooling stuff). Jim and I are both procrastinators when it comes to BIG projects (especially that cost).

I can't wait to hear how Ian does at school today. He was CRACKING HIMSELF UP in bed since 3:30am this morning. He never went back to bed. It's funny to hear him cause I really want to know what he's laughing at. I always say he sees angels. He left for school so pepped, that you'd never know he'd been up that long.

Well, better go get started with some of those things on my list. Have a great day all!

Can I Start Today Over?

GRUMPY!!!!

ARG! I was supposed to be blogging on how happy I am because today is our 10 year anniversary. But nooooo, yuck had to get in the way. Instead I am super emotional (not even on my period). Jim and I got into a conversation about the schools and children, particularly the 'not typical' children. I really tried to keep my cool, but I blew it. So, you guys get to read it....remember, all raw unprocessed emotions.

So, I try to explain and bear my heart about how I feel about things like Ian getting pulled out of his class and put into a different class, about not really knowing what's going on this year, blah, blah, blah. I'm not doggin' the school. They have been very kind to us, and I feel very confident and fortunate, overall, about the care and attention Ian gets there. BUT, I also have a lot of fear. And when it hits, it hits. When I try to explain how I'm feeling to Jim, mostly I get how I need to understand how strapped the school is when it comes to our type of kids. No real programs for them, parents sueing, not enough funds for aides, etc. Well, that's all find and dandy, but what I really want to hear is, "Honey I know this is hard for you, I'm with you, and we'll do all we can for our children. Hang in there. " You know, something encouraging for ME (yep, all about me at this point). I just feel like he doesn't hear my heart. Like all his concern lies with the school. I DO know how difficult it is. I was a classroom teacher and I did have SN in my class. If anything, how would HE know! He does resource in-class support and pull-outs. He doesn't even have his own classroom full of kids all day.

So, I accused him of 'siding' with the teachers/principal and told him I would appreciate support for me because I'm sure not going to get it from anyone else. He's supposed to be there for me and the children. I'm not asking him to go out and start demanding things. I don't work that way. I'm asking him to say what I need to hear when my heart is scared and hurting. The only thing I could compare it to to help him understand (cause he still says things that lead me to believe he's not TRULY understanding what I'm trying to tell him) is a family situation. I asked him, "Okay, so what if everytime you struggled with the family member and felt beaten down, I decided to take their side and tell you that you need to understand what they're going through (which in this case would be a ridiculous statement). Would that make you feel like I was YOUR cheerleader and that I truly understood your heart? NO!"

I know he doesn't really know what to do with me when I get like this. So, I've pretty much vowed to keep it a blog thing and stop trying to get him to understand. This is just one of those times I feel completely alone. Like I'm the only one pushing to help Ian (which is not true). I just see sooooo much potential and I don't feel like he sees the same potential. Is that the hardness of the teacher these days?

I'm finding it hard to stop crying this morning. I hate to say things like, "This is my life, I have to deal with it." It is my life, but I fully expect to enjoy it and thank God for it. I was never promised an easy life and I'm okay with that. But sometimes I have a really hard time 'doing' the hard life. And I don't even have it as bad as some people I know. But I try not to compare lives. That's not what God intends for me to do. He wants me to do the life He's given me.

Okay, I think I'm done. I'm going to go spend some time with the One who really knows the details of my heart. I'm glad we're all walking this together. You help me not feel so alone. Once things process and I get to talk to Jim again (I've already emailed him to tell him I love him and I'm sorry), I'm sure I'll be put back together.

By the way, did I mention today is our 10 year anniversary!?