A Bit of Wisdom Please

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  And the seed whose fruit is rightousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." 

James 3:17, 18

As another school year begins, so does another year of unknowns.  Three fragile X kids in three different schools.  A daughter who is great at comprehension struggles so very hard at math and is so very timid.  Youngest son who is over the charts on cuteness but struggles at obeying and rules and potty training (typical though) and impulsivity and basically anything that would create order.  Oldest son, who has been a people pleaser is now deciding to hang on the fence of rebellion....going just so far enough to get a reaction (I think he prefers negative).  This same son who generally seems to regret his actions, showing sadness & sorrow, impulsively scratches his brother and pulls his sister's hair, or messes up what sister has worked so hard on.  Three children whom I love and adore dearly and could not imagine my life without.

My dilemma?

In the school and out of the school, I MUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO EXERCISE WISDOM.  Wisdom within the fragile X realm (and many others) means overlooking some things the parent of typical kids would not.  It also means having zero tolerance for things the parent of typical kid would say "aww, cut him some slack".  Wisdom... knowing how much they can handle before it's time to take a break.  Wisdom... trying to learn about why they respond the way they do in certain circumstances, as well as knowing when I don't have to know why.  Wisdom...knowing when not to take them to a particular function because it will cause more anxiety than joy for them.  Wisdom...when to know when/how to confront a teacher or situation and when to be patient.

Wisdom...to know how to bless my daughter who, because she is not as negatively affected as the boys, takes on greater responsibilities.  Wisdom...to know how to explain why she has to do this or not but the boys do not.  Wisdom...to know how to get Ian to keep on reading this or that book, even through the whining and fits.  Wisdom...to know how to get him to eat using utensils.  Wisdom...to know how to get Benjamin to understand authority at home and at school.  Wisdom...to know how to roll with the punches (which I've gotten quite good at) and how to have fun with my children....even when that means pulling out the paints knowing full well it will end up on places that will just not wash off.  It means having fun with them sloshing around in the rain (which I like to do anyway).  Wisdom...how to balance everything and everyone in my family while at the same time making time for me.  Wisdom...making sure my husband and I get date nights and times to really connect and see how the other is doing in our mahem.  Wisdom....to not get lazy in this.  Wisdom.... even so much more.

 

But the most important and crucial of all is seeking the wisdom that comes from above.  All the wisdom needed listed above and all the others not even mentioned on my list can only be truly accomplished when I seek out and ask my God for that wisdom. He has given me the signs to look for to discern if I am accepting His wisdom in my life.  Read the words - I do - everytime I ask for wisdom in a situation and I try my best to be sure it encompasses these words when I follow through.....pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  If I seek out seed whose fruit is rightousness, it will be sown in peace, and I will have become a peacemaker.  What a wonderful thought!

The first day I decided to use this verse with schooling my children and with my family, I prayed over it before I started to do some school with Avery.  The result?  Well, ummm, I wish I could say it was incredible.  Instead, I was an incredible failure!  We both ended up in tears....over math!  Ugh!  But with every yuck in life comes a beautiful life lesson or two if we are willing to look for them.

1.  I always try to make it a point to model humility with my children.  I apologize whenever the time calls for it.  In this case, it screamed for it.  So I did.   She, in turn (with a little help from me), apologized for her part as well.  It was a very sweet time.

2.  God led me to another verse from James:  "He gives a greater grace." (James 4:6)   My God gives greater grace.  Grace greater.  Grace is His ability to enable me to be who He has called me to be and to do what He has called me to do.

So, basically when I fail....that's okay.  I go back to Him who gives greater grace.  I don't quit.

Quiet on the Homefront

Really not a lot going on this first month of the new year. Kids are struggling with allergies that are leading to ear infections, but nothing a little antibiotic and love can't cure.

Transitioning back to school was a breeze for the kids...thank goodness. Mom had a pretty easy time of it too...except the having to get up early, make lunches, and get them ready to get out the door on time. But, I managed to get back into the swing of things okay.

Notes from Ian's school have slowed down A LOT! When I get them, I don't generally reply anymore. I just mumble to myself and initial the day. Really I don't see the point in why they feel the need to write me everytime he, "had a good morning in Mrs. X's class and Mrs. Y's class, but he had a rough afternoon". Please tell me exactly what 'rough' means? If it means he got overstimulated and was loud and maybe annoyed a kid or two, well then I think we're working on two different perspectives of 'rough'. Oh well.

He's doing well at home. He really tries to communicate better, does his homework with me pretty well, and is wanting to do so many more things independently....some I wish he wouldn't try quite so hard at. :) He's also still staying in the same underwear all day (but changing them daily :).

Avery and Benjamin are truckin right along. Benjamin is getting more and more, ummm, what's the word???? Obstinent. Yeah, that seems like the right word. But, darn it, he's still so cute about it!

Avery is still our little princess.....with attitude. She's gonna be a great story-teller one day. The girl will spend 20 minutes straight telling me a story...usually about her "friend", her "friend's baby", her "baby", or her "husband". It's exhausting trying to stay up with it all.

That's about it. I guess sometimes 'non-exciting' is the way to go.

Benjamin Turned 3!

Lego Block Cake

HOURS of fun on the new trampoline!

Cute, Rian!

Benjamin turned 3 years old this weekend! I can't believe it. We had a great bday party for him. I was pretty proud of how the cake(s) turned out, but they still didn't turn out as smooth looking as the lady who did it on the video...go figure! He had great fun on his 'big' birthday present. Don't tell him, but it's really for the whole family to enjoy...which we did. Oh, and don't you just love your self portrait mug shot, Rian!

Oh my gosh, I'm cute!

So, now that he's 3, that also means he started his PPCD class today. MY BABY IS IN SCHOOL! I really thought I would cry, but I didn't. I kept my mind focused on all the things I would get done in the 2 hours I have by myself 3 days week, until summer. He looked darn cute (and small) with his

backpack on!

Ready to learn with my teacher!

Let's Catch Up!

Been too long. Everytime I go to sit at the computer, I decide I'm too brain dead to try to put things into words. Not to mention, that on an open blog, one can really only include so many words. Remember that "big brother watching" thing. One day, maybe I'll do an 'invitation only' blog. Doubt it. Here goes my life thus far. Luckily, can't complain. God is still not only good, but faithful in the busy and crazy times.

I went on my semi-annual scrapbook retreat a couple weekends ago. BTW, I'm proud that this is one of my hobbies and know my children will sooooo appreciate and enjoy it as well in the future. I can't imagine not leaving them with something so concrete. Beats all the money in the world or any computer/disk or other techno form...IMO - which I am well aware is not asked for. (unless of course, that's the way you enjoy doing it or if busy days, busy kids, busy lives don't allow for the concrete stuff....totally understandable, no offending intended - after all, I only have 1st year for each kid) Okay, done with the rant. Anymore, the time away is not soley about getting books done (although we do work LATE into the night/early morning). It's become so much more of a ladies' social, strengthening, encouragement, just plain fun time! And they let me act like a kook(?) as much as I want. What more could you ask for? Well, this time, they outdid me. I don't know if you remember 'the stuffed pheasant' from the last several stays there. It's part of the decor in one of the rooms. Why it's part of the decor, I'll never figure out. Anyhoo, the joke between my grand friend and me is to hide the ugly bird in the other one's belongings. It shows up in the darndest places. This time, a few of the ladies decided to go on a walk. I asked them to take my camera to take some pics of the wildflower fields and whatever. My mistake. They took the 'whatever' to the max. They took the pheasant along for the walk. I've only included a small number of the large number of pics they took of the bird's adventure. I was laughing so hard when I saw the pics, I had tears.





While I was gone, Jim texted me that Ian lost a top front tooth. You all know that when Ian 'loses' a tooth, he literally 'loses' it. About 20 minutes later he texted again with a picture, revealing that he had by that time lost both top teeth! Ian told our friend that he swallowed them. Hmmmmm????
Benjamin had his ARD meeting with the school last week. It went fine. He just had his last session with ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) and will start in his PPCD class on Monday...the day after he turns 3. OMG! I will cry. He's my baby.....and quite the mamma's boy at that. I've also included a pic of yet another black eye. Yes, right before his bday party. No one's sure what happened. Avery told us she accidently fell on him with the chair. All we know is there was bleeding and crying. But, he recovered, as you can tell by the adorable smile.

Last Friday I had a procedure done at my GYN's office called an endometrial ablation. Read about it if you'd like. I'm sure most have heard of it. I'm hoping I get the results I'd like. It was not a big deal to get done. My wonderful MIL took me. They put an IV in to knock me out. Next thing I knew, I was awake, groggy, being given instructions, and heading home. I slept most of the day and took one pain med and ibruprofen for cramping all day. By the next day, I felt fine. By yesterday, I was running (in great weather BTW).

These 3 pics are the reason I should get mom of the year. :) These are 3 reward/extrensic motivators we use. The pizza is to work on toilet training with Ian. You know, to bribe him to stay dry and to pee and poop ON THE TOILET. When he fills up the pizza pie, he gets to order a pizza. Now, if he poops on the potty, we skip straight to ordering a pizza. The two charts are for Ian and Avery. When they do something 'above and beyond' to make us proud, they get a smiley face. If they get 3 by the end of the day, they get a treat. The little board maker cards are 'treasure box' cards. If they have at least one card left by the end of the day, they get to choose something from their treasure box. With all these, we still also use spankings when needed and time out. Life seems like one big game of reward/discipline.


The sandbox is compliments of my wonderful FIL. He built it for the kids! He's so awesome!
This is a random pic from Easter, just cause I like it.

Last thing. I went out running last night on my usual route. I noticed a bunch of emergency vehicles ahead of me in the neighborhood. I knew whatever it was, they weren't going to let me pass, so I changed routes. We watched the news and found out that a gang related shooting death took place.....20 minutes before I went out to run! Just the fact it happened in our neighborhood (actually about 1 mile away) was enough to freak me out. But then when I think I could have been running by as it happened really freaked me out. Jim is definitely getting strict on not letting me run later in the evenings.

Well, I hope you made it all the way through this. I know it was long. Hopefully I won't wait so long next time!

little cabin in the woods

This morning we leave for our spring break trip to the 'little cabin in the woods', owned by some sweet friends who have allowed us to vacation there at least once a year since Ian was diagnosed. We've made some great memories there. The family picture to the right is from last year.

This year will be just about as much needed as the year Ian was diagnosed....might be a bit exaggerated. We're once again encountering family issues that are just draining us. I won't go into it all, but I am thankful to be getting away someplace we cannot receive a signal. We need to relax.

Ian and Avery are SO STINKIN EXCITED about going. For days they keep asking, "when are we going to the cabin in the woods?" Usually when we go over spring break, it rains. Well we never prepare for it, so the kids rarely get to go play in it because we've only taken one pair of shoes. HA, this year I AM PREPARED...COME ON RAIN! (not the whole time please) I bought the kids rain boots. I decided if it didn't rain, I would just return them. That way I wouldn't feel like I wasted the money. Well, once I got them home and Avery put hers on, I knew I would NOT be taking them back, rain or no rain. She put them on, quickly got her umbrella, and began to dance around in the boots and twirling her umbrella. So cute! She keeps saying, "Mommy, I'm ready to dance in the rain!" This coming from a girl whose first words when it starts raining are "Mommy, is it going to thunder? I don't want it to thunder." So, for their enjoyment I hope they get their rain.

So, I'll return to the blog world once we return to reality and our home-sweet-home. TTFN!

Hodge Podge

Hope you all had a fun Valentine's weekend. We're putting ours off for a few weeks when we get a short overnight getaway.

Not a lot going on around here. I just got back in town from visiting my great niece. She's just as beautiful (more) in person. Seems like a really content baby. Mommy and Daddy are doing great, and will definitely never be lacking in babysitters between grandma and other aunt! They actually argue over who will watch her! Anyway, it was great to see my family.

We had record snow here last week. I know for some of you, our measly 11 inches doesn't compare, but it was great. This makes the 3rd time it's snowed this season. This time it was nice packy snow so the kids got to have snowball fights and build a snowman. My little Ian, who seems to have ZERO ability to know when something hurts, kept taking off his mittens to use his hands. We were too afraid he'd get frostbite and wouldn't even feel it. I don't know how he does it. Well, we all had a good time. Wish I had pictures ready to post.

Benjamin did a new thing a few days ago. I'd forgotten about this til now. He went to the bathtub faucet, pointed to it, and said, "water". So cute.

That's about it for the hodge podge. Just wanted to be sure I didn't stay off from writing for too long.

Isn't She Beautiful?

Okay, I've tried over and over to figure out why my paragraphs won't separate with a line space. Can't get it to do it! What's up with this! Help, anyone!? So, I've separated them by color to hopefully make it easier to read.

So, does this make me a great aunt? I can't believe how much hair she has. I also can't believe this makes my oldest sister a grandma! She is 52 (or 53?). But that only makes me sound older to hear her being called a grandma. Oh well, at least I don't have gray hair yet...not that there's anything wrong with gray.... My sister is sooo excited and loves being a grandma. My other sister is loving it too...she's already gotten to babysit.

It all makes me a little sad because I'm away and won't play a big part in her life like her other aunt will. To be honest, I'm not even really close to my niece, especially not like I am to my nephew. He and I talk all the time on the phone. I think it makes a difference that I was still living in the same city when he was born. I had already moved away by the time my niece was born. My goal this year is to be the one to put forth the effort to stay in communication better. I usually go visit my family about 4 times a year or so, but other than my older sister (not the grandma), I don't talk a lot to the rest of my family on the phone. I used to talk with my mom all the time. But things have changed a bit since my dad's stroke a year and a half ago. But, that doesn't mean that I can't change that. Then maybe it'll make it easier for them to call me too. It's just kind of a strange thing to come up with conversation when you don't talk often. So I figure the more we talk, the more comfortable we'll feel. It's not like we're total strangers or anything. When I go visit, it's totally different...like we've never been apart. For that, I'm extremely grateful! It's just the darn distance.

Okay, well, thanks for the therapy session! I"m extremely motivated now.

Oh, did I already mention in a previous entry that Benjamin says, "Want, dat"? We don't ever know what "dat" is (unless we give him choices), but hey, he's saying a 2 word phrase! Rian, if I didn't tell you that already, sorry. I will when I talk to you next. :)

Anniversary Trip

This is Jim's face right before he's getting ready to color my hair.

This was a really cool spider that wouldn't let us take it's picture. It kept coming up as this bright light. Pretty clever guy.

"I think we're lost?" "Which way do we go?"

Self pic before our hike.

"Roses in our Garden" Jim's anniversary gift to me to add to my Willow Tree collection.

We just got back from a long wonderful weekend away for our 10th anniversary. We went to an incredible resort in the Ouachita National Forest and Lake area in Arkansas, and it was great. We're already planning to go again with some friends. It was relaxing to be kidless for 4 days. We had great family (thanks Tallmans) and friends (thanks Williams) taking excellent care of our children while we were gone.

We had planned to hike, play tennis (not that either of us play), relax at the spa, go boating to our own island. However, our plans changed a bit due to weather, missing equipment, and an extra long hike. But, no loss. I loved the weather! It was nice and cool, rained a little, and overcast. No humidity! That was the best. That's relaxing weather for me, especially for fall. And let's not forget to mention the beautiful colors! We also met some really fun people.

We left Thursday night, stayed in a hotel along the way; got up the next morning and headed to check-in at the resort. We got there earlier Friday than we thought we would, but thank goodness our room was ready for us to check in. After check-in, we drove into town for a few necessities and checked out town. Then we checked out the resort area. Then, we just sat in our condo and enjoyed....dare I say it.....SILENCE! Ahhhhh! And we enjoyed a wonderful seafood meal cooked by my chef of a husband. Yum!

Saturday, I slept in. Jim has a hard time sleeping in, poor guy. After going back into town to pick up items we should have gotten on our first run, we decided to check out a part of the Vista Ridge trail. We hiked 4 miles. On this part of the trail, we were passed by lots of mountain bikers who were participating in an adventure race that was going on the same weekend. They all looked really tired. We found out later after talking to the coordinator of the race, that the biking part was the last part of the race. Before that, they had been running, canoeing, and hiking off trail with only a compass and map. The entirety of the race was anywhere from 8 to 14 hours.

After getting back to the condo, I enjoyed a nice hot bath (which I don't generally get to enjoy at home). Then we went to the resort restaurant and enjoyed a yummy steak dinner. Then back to the condo for a movie. And I talked Jim into coloring my hair. Never done that before. He's was quite funny.

Sunday morning we got up, ready for our longer hike. This hike ended up being 3.5 miles/2 hours longer than we planned, due to someone's error in reading the map (and can I say, it WASN'T me...miracle). Neither of us cared much though. We actually got quite a good laugh from it. The end result....13 miles of hiking beautiful forest and streams. It's a good thing (1) we packed our good hiking boots for the trip, (2) I didn't sleep in that morning and got a good start time, (3) we packed plenty of power bars and water in the backpack. Our feet were barking at the end. When we got back, I took another nice hot bath. Jim was so hungry he cooked while I bathed. (Yes, I do actually cook for our family. Jim likes to do the cooking on vacation....and I don't argue). So, we enjoyed another of his wonderful meals. Then, because we're both football fans, we watched the Sunday night football game.

Monday morning, we got up, bodies screaming. Poor Jim had blisters on his feet. I went down to the spa for a massage, only to find out they didn't have any openings until 3:00pm.....we had to check out by 11:00am. Lesson learned.....make reservations. So, we packed up, turned in our tennis raquets and keys, loaded up the van (along with the boat we'll use next time as well), and headed home. The kids were great when we picked them up and were great the rest of the night. That made it a nice transition back into the swing of things. Oh how we never take advantage of our time away!

The Things of Life

I'm sitting here listening to my children fight. Avery yelling at Ian for saying 'bad'. Ian saying it all the more because Avery is screaming at him. It gets funny after a while. But right now, it's just kinda tiring. I'm in one of those spots.

A very special friend of mine and her sweet family are moving away in a couple of weeks. I understand why the need for it, but it doesn't make it any easier on my heart. A lot more goes into it for me, but I won't go into that. I will miss her so very much, and miss watching all the milestones of their bathed in love little boy. I don't doubt that we'll keep in touch.

Side note: Avery just screamed so loud my eardrums about popped! Can't handle that at all. Silence now, as I sent her to her room. All is good. :)

We have friends who are struggling with their marriage, and it makes me so sad. I'm glad that they feel comfortable talking to us. I just feel helpless and hope that God, who instituted marriage, will restore this sweet couple's marriage. I know they're wanting the same thing.

Family stuff is about to drive me nuts. I've no doubt a lot of you could relate if I went into the whole story. But you know how it is....never know who's reading. Let's just say all is about to blow within me if the nonsense keeps up, especially if there's anymore of it during another 'time of the month' for me. Hold me back, sista!!!! I just don't get it, and truth is, I don't wanna get it. I just want people to start acting like adults, take responsibility, stop enabling, and take responsibility for crap that comes out of the mouth. Is that too much to ask? Okay, better stop there. You get the picture. After all, I am perfect, ya know. Ha Ha Ha. Kidding, I fully realize the majority of my many faults. Maybe one day I'll blog about those. Naaaaah!

Side note: Ian is loving on me as he asks for about a million different videos and laughing after he says each one. Silly boy!

Side side note: Benjamin is ripping all the books off the book shelf. ALL the books he can reach.

This all reminds me of a country song I've heard a couple of times. I think it may be called "Sounds Like Life" or something like that. It's this guy who's talking to a friend of his who is struggling with a bunch of things (little work, can't pay bills, fridge went out, wife's pregnant, etc.). Anyway, basically this guy listening is noticing that it's all the things life is really made of. The everyday things and struggles. So in the chorus, he says something like, "may not be whatcha wanna hear, but sounds like life to me." So true. Not that we're happy in them, but it's true. We've never been promised a life of no struggles. But we have been promised a Savior who knows and knows the end of the story as well. I can still hurt and cry and get angry, but in the end, hope is the answer. Life is really fleeting. While we don't ignore the 'struggles' and 'everyday things', let's never never never let those overshadow the many wonderful things of life! Whoa! Where'd all that come from?!

Side and end note: I just heard Ian say, "oooh, Ben pee'd". Benjamin took his diaper off and pee'd on the furniture!!!! We don't have a dog for just that reason! Here's where ya gotta laugh.....the things of life!

Gotta go clean up a mess so I can get us packed to go out of town in a few hours. Thanks for listening. I'm sure I'll be okay in a few hours.....or days. :)

Can't Sleep

It's 1:40am and I can't sleep. Didn't someone else just have this problem not too long ago? So, I thought I would get up, eat another 1/4 of the container of icecream, and add an entry to my blog.

Ian is up to his old habit of not sleeping through the night again. Very irritating. He doesn't cry out and get mad like he used to. He just 'happy screams' in there. Not too long ago, he woke the other ones up. Not cool! He's in there now awake. We just up'd his does of guanfacine cause we were noticing that it didn't seem to be having the same affects. If we don't notice anything after a few weeks of the increased dose, I think we'll go back to clonodine again. We're thinking that maybe since he's gained weight since the last time he was on it, maybe he'll be able to take a small dose of it during the day without it knocking him out.

Remember my 20 year old niece who got married in April? Well, I don't remember if I already told you that she's pregnant. She got pregnant like immediately. She's 17 weeks. Well, she called about a week ago to let me know she got tested for FX and found out she's a carrier. It's weird, but all of a sudden, it seems the whole family is now wanting to read up on it more. It's a good thing, but it kinda woulda been nice to have them so gungho about knowing more about it when we got our diagnoses of fully mutated. My other sister just recently asked me for the websites. My mom said she read something, something, something about the repeats. And of course, my oldest sister (the niece's mom) is wanting to know more about it obviously. I'm not mad, just kind of feeling.....I'm not sure. Probably don't need to go there anyway. I just wish everyone would have wanted to be more educated when I needed them to be....with all my diagnoses. I actually hadn't thought about any of that until I started writing this entry. Oh well, better late than never.

Ian LOST another tooth. No idea where. But at least there wasn't blood everywhere this time. He looks awfully cute with his two bottom teeth out. He's got a tooth growing back in place of the first one. I just hope his permanent teeth are as pretty as his first set. I love his teeth.

AVERY SAYING: One more story, then off to bed. Grandma was watching the kids yesterday and told me this story: The kids were watching football (we have several games recorded for Ian, who loves to watch them over and over and over and over). She decided to give them a quick football lesson. She told them that the man with the ball needed to run fast to the yellow (first down) line. If he didn't make it, they had to try again. So, Avery pipes up and says, "Oh, that's like when I wait to long and don't make it to the potty. I tee-tee in my panties because I didn't make it to the yellow line." Too cute!

Catchup

Okay, catch up time. I'm probably missing stuff, but this is what I have time for right now. Although Benjamin isn't in any of the pictures, he's been doing a lot. He's starting to say single words more frequently. He'll say 'mooooorrrrrre', 'dink', 'bite', 'bath', 'dowwwwwn', 'hi', 'bye'. He elongates about everything he says. I hear that's the way is supposed to be done here down south. A 1 second word becomes a 5 second word. Anyhoo, he's doing good. We had an orthotics appointment a few weeks ago. He'll get his SureSteps in about a month. Hopefully that will help get him walking a bit stronger. His knees buckle a lot and his feet pronate a bit. I can't wait to see him in them. I got them with dinosaur print. Okay, so on with the pictures:



My niece got married in April...little late in announcing. She was such a beautiful bride. Look young? That's because she was only 19. (She's 20 now). She's also now pregnant. Can you say honeymoon baby? If she's startin' this young, I expect her to pop out a bunch of babies! Seriously, so hard to think of her as a mom. She seems to have grown up so fast. She'll be a great one though.

Ian lost his tooth a few weeks ago. LITERALLY LOST IT! We have no idea where it is. We just happened to notice his hand and mouth were bleeding. I thought he made his finger bleed by chewing. But then Jim noticed the tooth missing. (Doesn't it seem kinda early for him to be loosing teeth?) We had noticed over the last month that his two middle bottom teeth were spreading apart more. Now we know why. I just hope I don't find that tooth somewhere. I do NOT do well with the whole loose tooth, pull tooth thing! When I taught 3rd grade, that's the one thing I couldn't handle. It's not a gross thing to me. It's more of a "fingernails across a chalkboard type thing." Can't explain it, but it gives me chills just writing about it.


Okay, so the niece got married in April. My nephew (from the same sister as mom to my niece) just got married last weekend. Yes, my sister is quite a bit overwhelmed at becoming a MIL twice and finding out she's going to be a grandmother! This is a picture of Avery and my other niece (from my other sister). Avery was quite the hoot. My niece was the flower girl in both weddings. Cute thing is the dress she is wearing belongs to my oldest niece (that just got married). It's the same dress she (oldest niece) wore in mine and Jim's wedding. Confused yet?


This is my handsome nephew and his new bride. His wedding was a lot of fun. He is 26 and is such a good kid. Not perfect. But he is definitely a family guy. He still hugs and kisses all over his mom and his aunts. I'm really proud of him.


This is my brave Avery. Just last year I couldn't even get her off me in the pool. Now she's jumping all by herself. I wish I could have gotten a picture of her when she has her legs bent and stretched like a frog! We left her at my sister's to spend the week with her cousin after we came back home from the wedding. I go get her today. She's had a lot of fun, but is ready to come home.

Another thing going on is we started the Folic Acid a few months ago for Ian. I'm not sure our neurologist understands much about it. I gave him the info. from the FRAXA sight (Hagerman's stuff). If anyone would like to post a comment to me about how they went about with their dosing, feel free. We're up to 3 (1 mg) pills twice a day. We've worked our way up to that, and will move on to 4 (1 mg) pills next week. Right now the pills are working fine with Ian, but as we move up I don't think it's going to be a great option. But our dr. doesn't seem to know how to get it compounded to a liquid. Like I said, I don't think he's ever gone this route before with his other patients. From what I've read from some, it doesn't seem like an easy process???? Thoughts????

A Lot of Nothing....Sorta

This'll be a short one. Not in a real 'with it' mood today. Probably because I'm about to start. Yes, finally after 28 or so years of having a period I've finally been able to catch my mood and know when I'm gonna start. Shouldn't have taken me so long.

Anyway...just a bunch of family and friends issues going on....none of which are related in nature. Things that make me want to just move away (for a little while) while people get their stuff sorted out. Sounds kinda selfish, I know. I guess I'm getting a little tired of watching people who don't listen to wisdom, get themselves deeper into _ _ _ _, then blame God or everybody else for the mess they've gotten into. And the kicker is that it's always the person on the outside of the situation who can see all the junk a-comin, or at least some of it. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I made all the right choices in my lifetime. I know better than to make a statement like that. I've definitely messed enough up in my life. Unfortunately at that time in my life, I didn't have sound people to listen to. They were all in the same boat I was. But it's just irritating to watch it be someone else you know and love do it, especially when they do have people in their life who can give sound advice. Seems like any question, any statement, any act of love gets turned against you. My solution? I'm stayin out of it all. Well, I'm gonna try anyway. I'm getting way better at not offering advice or any sort of statements when not asked. And I've gotten even better at skatin' around the issue when asked. I figure I can still love them and pray for them even when all else fails. As humans, we can't save anyone from themselves, right?

Then to top it all off I found out yesterday that my very, very, very, very good friends are putting their house up for sell and headin' out. As sad as I am, I can understand why. There's really not too many friendships I consider strong enough to try to keep up with when one moves away, but this is one that will be worth it. So, Rian, if you're reading this, I love you dearly!

Okay, I'll be better in a few days. Words of encouragement would be great about now.

I Am Still Alive....I Think

It's been so long since I've been on blog land. I'm looking forward to catching up on reading everyone's entries that I'm so behind on. I think I just got in such a funk cause everything seemed to be so negative, I didn't want all my entries to be so pessimistic. Quick, quick update:

So much for dying without making a turkey. We had Jim's family come to our house....don't ask how that happened. That made 10 adults and 4 children. Okay, truth be told....Jim made the turkey. We had a really good time, and I was so glad we had it at our house. It gave Grandma and Papa a break this year. Plus, even though I kept telling everyone that Jim cooked, I cleaned, I still got all the credit for the meal. I finally gave in and just said, "Thank you." How great is that!

Trip to Oklahoma City to be with my family was much different. Everything has been much different since my dad's stroke. I am very thankful that he is alive, walking, talking. However, I want my pre-stroke dad back, and my mom wants her pre-stroke husband back. It's been very difficult for my family. I think I feel like I get to 'run away' from it by being here. But going back home shows me how real it really is. I felt like I either cried or was griping at Jim for some reason the whole weekend. It definitely forces me to concentrate on what the meaning of Thanksgiving is and to remember all the blessings the Lord has poured down. Blessings are great, but I also have to remember that we were never promised an easy life of roses. It's what I do with all the hard times that determine how thankful I am for Jesus. After all, He didn't exactly have a rosy life when He walked the earth. Next....

Benjamin is officially a toddler!!!! A clumsy one, but oh well. While he's still quite weak and can't walk for enormous amounts at a time, he way prefers to walk on his two feet than to crawl. I had forgotten how adorable they look.

Avery is pretty much officially potty trained. The only thing we haven't tackled is nighttime. The latest joy is that she has finally started to poop more on the big potty than on the little one. Cleaning that thing out gets pretty gross after a while. I'm so proud of her.

Ian is still a day by day. We've been struggling a lot more with his behavior. Jim is ready to go for stronger meds. I AM NOT. This is a big source of contention with us. Probably the hardest thing we've had to try to work together on. More on that later. I just love my little boy so much......

My friend, Rian, had her baby boy!!!!! His name is Malachi "Kai" Ellington, and he is adorable. He was born November 17. I got to see him come into this world and it was amazing. Rian did great. I already can't wait for him and Benjamin to play together!

That's about it for now. Thanks for those who wrote to check up on me. I'm still in a bit of a funk, but working through it.

Out of Routine

I'm sitting here at my sister's computer 3 hours away from hubby and kids. I got a phone call Tuesday that my dad had a stroke. It was one of those, "Do I leave now or wait?" type things. After a couple more phone calls from my sister, I was ready to leave at 1am. However, that probably wouldn't have been the best idea in the state I was in. Plus I needed to feel like I had things 'in place' at home before I left for an unknown amount of time. Finally it was decided. My best friend came to stay the rest of the night (starting at 2am), so that Jim could go to work in the morning and prepare for a sub then come back home. The rest of the details would be worked out by my hubby, best friend, and grandma and papa. I set my alarm to wake up in 1 hour (which turned into and extra 1/2 hour), packed up, and took off north. Hardly any traffic and NO rush hour!!!!!

It's now Saturday and I'm still here. I'm very fortunate that I can still be here....thank you Zane and Grandma and Papa.....and of course, JIM!!!!! And also to my other good friends who have volunteered to help out when needed! My dad had an aneurism (could have spelled it wrong). Luckily it only had a leak and not an explosion. The neuro-surgeon did surgery on Thursday morning. Hopefully my dad will get out of ICU my tomorrow. I don't want to leave until he's out of ICU. He's really disoriented and confused. I thought by now, his faculties would be a little bit better. He does generally know where he is, what his name is, what year it is...when they ask him.

We're just waitin most of the time. My mom is hanging in there, but I think barely. I think when none of us kids are there, she probably feels relieved to cry.

So, if you're a prayer like me.....please ask Abba to heal my dad and give my mom an overwhelming peace that can only come from him. If I new 100% that my dad would be face to face with Jesus, I don't think I would be struggling so much with this. So, in light of that, please be praying also that the Lord draws my dad to Him during and after all this.

Oh, also be praying for Jim and the kids. They have been knocked out of their routines and don't have Mom there. This is the longest they've been without me. Jim's done a great job of trying to maintain some normalcy, but you know how it is.......mom's usually still the stable point. I am very proud of how Jim has been able to take over with everything so that I can be here. I know it's not easy for him. I love you, Jim!

Let's Talk Grandparents

Well, last Sunday was Grandparents Day. We really don't celebrate it, but I do want to 'kudos' my kids's grandparents.

My parents, Nana and Papa to the kids, live 3 hours away and are in their 70's. They love their grandkids so much, and I know they wish they could do more for them. They have 3 other grandkids where they live. My dad and I have improved sooooo much on our relationship since Ian was diagnosed. I know that sounds strange. But actually, my parents had a child with Downs that died at the age of 5. So if anyone in my family or Jim's can relate, it's them. That has meant so much. I keep praying that my kids will be the ones who will eventually lead my dad to a relationship with the Lord.

Jim's parents, Grandma and Papa to the kids, live here in town. They are only in their 40's and 50's (his mom married a younger man....go girl). I wish you could all see them with their grandkids. They have our 3 and 1 more. They would do anything for them. They even have my niece living with them while there are some family issues going on. My niece has no doubt of their love for her. They own a courier business (where I work part, part time). They are already making plans for growing the business so that Ian will have a place to "work" when he gets older. The kids have soooo much fun with they are there. Grandma and Papa have been such a tremendous help to us, especially when we've reached our max and need a break.

I could go on and on and on and on. But I won't. My kids' grandparents RULE!

Bittersweet; Avery Saying; Family

What an adorable face this is! This was our dog, Dante. We got Dante pre-kids. You know, when you have infertility issues, you get a dog! Well, we WAAAAYYYYY spoiled him. I wish I had some of the old pics on my computer to show you. Dante would sit in a chair with us at the table as we played cards. No, he wouldn't play cards, but he would eat pretzels and drink wine with us....don't worry, only a sip. He's a great dog.

Well, then we were blessed with children. I think our first really did him in with his loudness, inability to pet easily, etc. etc. We could see Dante's personality start to change. It's like he was trying to say, "Hey! What happened to my family, and who is this little terror taking my place!" Imagine his dismay when we had a second....then a third! His world was rocked. Sad to say, he growl at the kids, but it was more like a "Get out of my space and quiet down" type growl. Some friends couldn't believe we still kept him. Sometimes I couldn't believe it, but I just couldn't give him up. If I really believed he'd hurt the kids, I would have in a heartbeat. Anywho, times have gotten worse for Dante. He has really bad skin allergies and started "leaking" pee everywhere. After spending a lot of money at the vet (twice), we found out he had a really bad urinary tract infection and was put on meds.

We decided we really weren't being fair to our first baby (Dante). The vet agreed that under our circumstances, he was greatly stressed. So, we listed him on Craigslist (if you haven't gotten on this "better than ebay site" you should try it). We noted our circumstances with the SN kiddos, and commented that he needed a stressfree home with no small children. Long story long, we had someone come look at him and wanted to take him. Jim called to tell me so I could come say good-bye, but I couldn't do it. So, I drove around until Jim told me he was gone. We've been able to email the new owners to find out how the transition went, because we wanted to make sure that if it didn't go well, we got him back. They love him! They even kept his name. I had Jim email them again to let them know he liked to 'sing', especially to "Happy Birthday."

Thus, the bittersweet moment. I miss him dearly, especially when I see all the pictures of him. How are the kids doing you ask? The don't even ask about him! I couldn't believe it. Neither Avery nor Ian even miss him! Probably a good thing. We won't be getting a new dog for quite some time.

Avery Saying: One morning Avery was jabbering stuff. She said, "Mama, I'm such a mess." I said, "You are? Then what am I going to do with you?" She sat and thought for a moment and replied, "Throw me in the trash." :) :)

Family: Do you ever get so frustrated with family that you just don't know what to do anymore? I know from some of your blogs, that you deal with the same thoughts. I recently did a Beth Moore Bible study that mentioned that unity among family is more difficult because you don't choose your family. You can choose your friends. Face it, how many of us would choose to be friends with people with have nothing in common with or have a difficult time being around? If you said, "Hey, I would" ....more power to you. But the study reminded me that God chooses our family, and He knows the complete story and all the why's. He calls me to persevere with family and do my best to rise to peace and unity....even when others do not and no matter how I am treated. It's a tough battle everyday. If we ask and seek, He even shows us amidst the issues, the areas in our own lives where we need to be humbled and where we need to be prayer warriors. Isn't He great.....even when we are not!?