A Bit of Wisdom Please

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  And the seed whose fruit is rightousness is sown in peace by those who make peace." 

James 3:17, 18

As another school year begins, so does another year of unknowns.  Three fragile X kids in three different schools.  A daughter who is great at comprehension struggles so very hard at math and is so very timid.  Youngest son who is over the charts on cuteness but struggles at obeying and rules and potty training (typical though) and impulsivity and basically anything that would create order.  Oldest son, who has been a people pleaser is now deciding to hang on the fence of rebellion....going just so far enough to get a reaction (I think he prefers negative).  This same son who generally seems to regret his actions, showing sadness & sorrow, impulsively scratches his brother and pulls his sister's hair, or messes up what sister has worked so hard on.  Three children whom I love and adore dearly and could not imagine my life without.

My dilemma?

In the school and out of the school, I MUST HAVE THE ABILITY TO EXERCISE WISDOM.  Wisdom within the fragile X realm (and many others) means overlooking some things the parent of typical kids would not.  It also means having zero tolerance for things the parent of typical kid would say "aww, cut him some slack".  Wisdom... knowing how much they can handle before it's time to take a break.  Wisdom... trying to learn about why they respond the way they do in certain circumstances, as well as knowing when I don't have to know why.  Wisdom...knowing when not to take them to a particular function because it will cause more anxiety than joy for them.  Wisdom...when to know when/how to confront a teacher or situation and when to be patient.

Wisdom...to know how to bless my daughter who, because she is not as negatively affected as the boys, takes on greater responsibilities.  Wisdom...to know how to explain why she has to do this or not but the boys do not.  Wisdom...to know how to get Ian to keep on reading this or that book, even through the whining and fits.  Wisdom...to know how to get him to eat using utensils.  Wisdom...to know how to get Benjamin to understand authority at home and at school.  Wisdom...to know how to roll with the punches (which I've gotten quite good at) and how to have fun with my children....even when that means pulling out the paints knowing full well it will end up on places that will just not wash off.  It means having fun with them sloshing around in the rain (which I like to do anyway).  Wisdom...how to balance everything and everyone in my family while at the same time making time for me.  Wisdom...making sure my husband and I get date nights and times to really connect and see how the other is doing in our mahem.  Wisdom....to not get lazy in this.  Wisdom.... even so much more.

 

But the most important and crucial of all is seeking the wisdom that comes from above.  All the wisdom needed listed above and all the others not even mentioned on my list can only be truly accomplished when I seek out and ask my God for that wisdom. He has given me the signs to look for to discern if I am accepting His wisdom in my life.  Read the words - I do - everytime I ask for wisdom in a situation and I try my best to be sure it encompasses these words when I follow through.....pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.  If I seek out seed whose fruit is rightousness, it will be sown in peace, and I will have become a peacemaker.  What a wonderful thought!

The first day I decided to use this verse with schooling my children and with my family, I prayed over it before I started to do some school with Avery.  The result?  Well, ummm, I wish I could say it was incredible.  Instead, I was an incredible failure!  We both ended up in tears....over math!  Ugh!  But with every yuck in life comes a beautiful life lesson or two if we are willing to look for them.

1.  I always try to make it a point to model humility with my children.  I apologize whenever the time calls for it.  In this case, it screamed for it.  So I did.   She, in turn (with a little help from me), apologized for her part as well.  It was a very sweet time.

2.  God led me to another verse from James:  "He gives a greater grace." (James 4:6)   My God gives greater grace.  Grace greater.  Grace is His ability to enable me to be who He has called me to be and to do what He has called me to do.

So, basically when I fail....that's okay.  I go back to Him who gives greater grace.  I don't quit.

Major Leap of Faith

No more hee-hawing around. The decision is made. I will be home-schooling Avery next year for 1st grade. Most of you don't know that this is something I've been struggling with as her school career at her current school draws to and end (it's only PK through Kinder...boohoo). Although I am a certified teacher, schooling my own children scares me to death. Two events have lead to this decision. Both involving the Lord...what a shock.

The first is a book study I'm doing with a dear friend of mine. It's "Beautiful Things Happen when a Woman Trusts God" by Sheila Walsh. The second is a Jonah bible study I'm doing with a group of ladies. Through the Jonah study, I've learned something about myself and this homeschooling thing....like Jonah running away from what God called him to do, I've been running away from this homeschooling thing; trying to come up with every reason why I shouldn't do it, and never feeling at peace with any of those reasons. Through the Sheila Walsh book, I've learned that I don't have to be afraid that I don't have what it takes. If this is what the Lord is calling me to do (which I truly believe it is), then He has already (ALREADY) equipped me with what I need and He has already told me that I have what it takes (I just haven't been listening).

This is not really a subject I like to talk about in front of parents who choose not to homeschool, or have only seen the 'failed' homeschool attempts (there's plenty out there). But oh, I feel badly if they've never seen it work. I have plenty of friends who have beautifully homeschooled their kiddos. All have different personalities and thus homeschool differently.

I really don't have opinions for what other parents choose to do. It doesn't bother me if they homeschool; it doesn't bother me if they put them in a private school; it doesn't bother me if they put them in public school. They know what's best for their children and family. So why is it that I get so much slack for my choice? Of course the biggest reason I hear as to why I shouldn't homeschool is "what about their socialization?" Let's NOT even go there. If you're familiar with homeschooling at all, you know that there are plenty of opportunities for socializing. That's all I'll say about that so that I don't accidently offend anyone. :)

As for the boys? Well, Benjamin we know will stay at his public school in the PPCD program. We're very glad about that. Ian? Not quite sure what our options are for him yet. I panic everytime I think about that one. I'm hoping to one day be able to homeschool him, but this upcoming year will not be the year.

So, I am still nervous about what this will look like, but very peaceful that God has truly shown me the best direction for Avery's schooling. I always love it when I know that He has put His hand in my life to guide me! I hate feeling lost! Anyone have any encouraging words for me......I'm all ears.

Avery saying:
Me: "Avery, what did you learn at school today?"
Avery: "I learned that the moon is 150 million gallons away!"
(I forget the number she used. It's the 'gallons' that cracked me up.)

Cute Stuff

Isn't he adorable! This is from his PPCD class. I'm not sure what the story is, but all the kids get to dress up like scarecrows. We have the same picture of Ian when he was Benjamin's age.















This was a sheet Ian did at school. The boy can write his name....pretty darn good too! I have to admit, this is something I would never have believed he'd be doing at this point. But, I also have not had very high expectations either. I suppose this is pretty normal for most of us during this journey. But as of late, I have learned to start raising the bar. So, when we do his homework, I really push him as far as he'll let me. I've been so proud of him. We got a note from his teacher last week that was soooo encouraging. She said that he reads all his sight words and that he's getting close to counting 5 objects one-to-one correspondence (touching each object when he counts it). My peacock feathers were quite proud!

Avery is doing great in school as well. I'm bummed that this private school only goes to kindergarten. I would love for them to add grades. She is really challenged and doing good meeting the challenge. Her writing is improving, she's trying to spell words on her own, and she does an awesome job at reading. I have also really enjoyed becoming good friends with a few of the moms from last year and this year. We've started meeting once a month for a "mom's night out". It's been great.

Thanks to great friends and family, I have been able to go to all three kids' first field trips this year. Makes for some really cute pics!

Ellie, the dog, is doing pretty well. Still in puppy stage. We went and had her spayed a week and a half ago. She developed this ping pong size lump on her belly. I knew a small lump was normal, but this seemed a bit large. So I took her in and they gave her some antibiotics for it and said it was more than likely due to over-activity. Bad parents! Well, come to find out, while I was gone for 4 days, Jim was making sure everyone, including the dog, was happy and well-exercised. Oops.

Okay, that's my update on things for the most part. Til next time....

Day 2...Kid Update

Two days in a row...so far, so good.

This is more of a kid update. We started Benjamin on folic acid therapy recently. He's been gaining some words here and there, so I was hoping by starting it, maybe he would soon start putting 2 words together...if he responds the way we've seen Ian respond to it. He was so cute the other day because he imitated what he always hears Ian say after a video has stopped..."uh-oh, stopped!" So cute! I also just got loaned to me an auditory device from our early childhood intervention program. Or maybe it's called augmentory...not sure. Anyway, it's suppose to help with language by having him work on making a choice between 2 items, push the button with the picture of his choice, and hearing the item (plus, we'll add the word "please" to make it 2 words). Goal is that since he's a good imitator, he'll start to imitate what he hears on the device.

Benjamin has also the process to begin the PPCD program (same program Ian started in) at school. As I look at Benjamin, it's so hard for me to imagine Ian that little starting school (Pre-K). As soon as he turns 3 in April, he can start the program. We're so excited to be able to be working with the same teacher Ian had for 3 years. She's just wonderful. And, of course, there's a lot of nervousness because Benjamin and Ian are so different. But I've no doubt it'll be great for him.

Avery is just doing wonderfully....well, if you take out the huge amount of 'attitude' she's gained. :) I was so proud because her Pre-K sent home a note letting us know the kids will be working on learning their phone number....Avery already knows hers, and her address. Hopefully she'll 'show off' her knowledge instead of being shy and acting like she doesn't know it. She's been such a good big and little sister to the boys. She's so loving and caring toward them (when they're not fighting of course). Her and Benjamin are best buds.

Ian is doing great in school. We started working on recognizing numbers at home. I figured out that he can count really well, but he can't recognize that a written number actually stands for something. So, we've been working on the #1 for a couple of weeks now. I made this huge #1 and put it on the wall. Then I spelled the word out and put 1 dinosaur with it. Everyday we would go over it. Everyday he would say every other number but 1. We had a breakthrough 2 days ago! He only called it a 4 before then calling it a 1. I was sooooo proud!

We went to the neurologist a few weeks ago (which is always a waste of my time...gotta find a new one). I told him we would like to switch him off the guanfacine and back to clonodine. Of course, he didn't argue with me (since I know more than him in this area). We think it has helped him out at school by taking partial dose in the morning, then another 4-5 hours later. We've loved it at night because he's practically back to wanting to put himself to bed.

Once again, I'd better end before you decide to quit reading!

First Week of School

Proud Ben on the potty

Avery at school her first day

Avery 1st day of school

Ian 1st day of school - not as smiley!

Ian getting on the bus

Benjamin's 2 year pic

Biker Ben's other 2 year pic

Well, we're entering into our second week of school. I was hoping to have this entry done by the weekend, but oh well. Ian entered his first day of kindergarten. He's in a special program, but is in a regular ed classroom. Few big changes for him. First, he's had the same wonderful teacher for the past 3 years. Now he has a new teacher. I don't know that much about her, except that she's the more strict, organized, routined of the teachers. This is good for Ian IF she is able to have some flexibility with his impulsivities. I'm not sure if there are any of the other kiddos from the program in this same class or not. Second big change is going from 8-10 kids to 21 kids! OMG! Third big thing is this year he is all day instead of 1/2 day. How's he doing? So far, so good. The great thing so far is that he waits til he gets home to poop!

One of my fears was that they were not going to work on his potty training. Jim had told me that was just a PPCD thing. Well, the 2nd day of school, the head of the program (a great lady, and wife of our dentist) sent a note home saying she would like him to be in underwear and that the aide would take him to the potty every hour. This was a HUGE blessing! So, I sent a note back thanking her for that. On the 4th day, Jim came home and said that they came down to his classroom with Ian to tell him Ian went to the potty all by himself. Walked in and everything by himself. They wanted him to praise Ian....and he did.

He's riding the bus. We did a test run during his summer school time. He loved it. I felt even better when I found out that there were no 'typical' kids on the bus. I've had horrid visions of the kids being mean to him on the bus. So, this was another blessing to me. And the bus driving and aide are the same ones he had during the summer. He gets on the bus all happy, and he comes off the bus all happy.

The only thing I don't really like is that they don't seem to keep me posted on the details like his teacher did the past 3 years. I suppose I can understand that since they have 21 kids in the class. So, I figure if I write notes asking, then they'll answer. Hopefully I don't get on their nerves. :)

Avery's doing great as well. I was really worried when we went to meet-the-teacher the day before it started. She wouldn't walk in the class. This is her 3rd year going at this particular church early childhood program. She goes 2 1/2 days. So, I did what any sensible mother would....I bribed her! I told her that if she walked in like a big, brave girl the first day then we would go get a surprise after school. She did, and we did. I was so proud of her. Today, her teacher told me she played and ran and screamed with the other kids on the playground and in class she talked with the other kids. She's becoming a school pro!

Benjamin is at home with me still. He's the same age Avery was when we sent her to the 2 year old program 2 days a week. It's hard to believe. Benjamin is definitely not where she was at that age. But he is such a joy none-the-less. I enjoy having the time with just him. He loves to sit and look at books, dance and 'sing' to music videos, and climb ALL OVER EVERYTHING. He's hard to keep up with....especially at 40! He's been slowly adding single words to his vocabulary. He even uses them every now and then! I've been working on potty-training him. Slowly. I put him on the potty first thing in the morning, still before baths (hate seeing him pee in the tub - yuck), and every so often during the day. He does great going tee-tee. He's so proud of himself after and loves getting a Smartie for it. I haven't gotten him to poop yet, but he makes the cutest grunting sound when I tell him to poop! One day something will come out. Don't ya just love the pic!