Isn't She Beautiful?

Okay, I've tried over and over to figure out why my paragraphs won't separate with a line space. Can't get it to do it! What's up with this! Help, anyone!? So, I've separated them by color to hopefully make it easier to read.

So, does this make me a great aunt? I can't believe how much hair she has. I also can't believe this makes my oldest sister a grandma! She is 52 (or 53?). But that only makes me sound older to hear her being called a grandma. Oh well, at least I don't have gray hair yet...not that there's anything wrong with gray.... My sister is sooo excited and loves being a grandma. My other sister is loving it too...she's already gotten to babysit.

It all makes me a little sad because I'm away and won't play a big part in her life like her other aunt will. To be honest, I'm not even really close to my niece, especially not like I am to my nephew. He and I talk all the time on the phone. I think it makes a difference that I was still living in the same city when he was born. I had already moved away by the time my niece was born. My goal this year is to be the one to put forth the effort to stay in communication better. I usually go visit my family about 4 times a year or so, but other than my older sister (not the grandma), I don't talk a lot to the rest of my family on the phone. I used to talk with my mom all the time. But things have changed a bit since my dad's stroke a year and a half ago. But, that doesn't mean that I can't change that. Then maybe it'll make it easier for them to call me too. It's just kind of a strange thing to come up with conversation when you don't talk often. So I figure the more we talk, the more comfortable we'll feel. It's not like we're total strangers or anything. When I go visit, it's totally different...like we've never been apart. For that, I'm extremely grateful! It's just the darn distance.

Okay, well, thanks for the therapy session! I"m extremely motivated now.

Oh, did I already mention in a previous entry that Benjamin says, "Want, dat"? We don't ever know what "dat" is (unless we give him choices), but hey, he's saying a 2 word phrase! Rian, if I didn't tell you that already, sorry. I will when I talk to you next. :)

Signed Up

Well, I'm now committed to a 10K run with my wonderful husband. I know I mentioned in one of my past blogs that I had started running again. I'm proud to say (if that's okay) that I'm still faithful to it. I go at least 3 times a week and run between 4 - 5 miles each run (occasionally I hit a wall at 3). Jim goes at least 3 times a week and he's up to 6+ miles each run. So, we decided it was time to sign up for an organized run. It's great just doing it on our own, but there's always been that certain something....oh, it's called competitiveness...about an organized run. The last one we did together was a 10K about 8 or 9 years ago.

This one is at the end of the month and the even better news is we get the night before without kids. We've decided that would be our Valentines weekend.

On another note. As I was typing this entry, I had sat Benjamin on the potty to see if I could get anything out of him. I just heard an "uh-oh". So, I go in there to find his "W" book in the toilet. HOWEVER, along with that "W" book was a toilet full of poop! Yea, Benjamin. That makes 6 times over the last 4 months or so. Poor Ian has only gone once - period. Hopefully this means Benjamin won't have a phobia about letting "it" go.

Stop Procrastinating!

Oh, I'm such a procrasinator! Can't stand it, but it's true. Can I say it's the FX part of me? Sure, why not. I'm working on switching back to our old neurologist. I FINALLY called their office and left a message. I asked for the doctor to be the one to call back so I could ask him directly some questions. I want to know if he'd be more open to researching than our current one is. So, if he's actually the one to call me back, I will be extremely impressed.

I'm also working on taking advantage of services Ian and Benjamin just received from In Home and Family Support. I got an email from our rep who informed me they were running out of funds so she wanted to get us the services we want. Problem is, I'm not sure what they are. I know one would be Hippotherapy. Again, I've got to get on the ball. I need to call our insurance company first to see if they cover it...doubt it though. I also have to get a script from our pediatrician. The other thing I'm hoping for is a device for Benjamin to help with his speech/communication, as well as computer programs that might help out. Gotta get on-line to see what's out there! So, these are my goals for this week. IF ANY OF YOU KNOWS OF ANY GOOD SOFTWARE PROGRAMS, CD'S, DVD'S, OR BOOKS FOR THE KIDS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! ANYTHING EDUCATIONAL OR DEVELOPMENTAL (SPEECH/COMMUNICATION DEVELOPMENT).

Jim and I have been talking about totally enclosing in our back patio. Currently, it's closed in, but with screens and screen door and pebble-rock ground. So, it's still more outdoors like than indoors. We have absolutely NO idea how to even begin...who to talk to to see how much it will cost us. I'm hoping we can even afford it. The reason we want to do it is so that we could use it as a school room for the kids. I decided if I'm really going to do what I can to home-school, then I have to have a place for it (schooling and all the schooling stuff). Jim and I are both procrastinators when it comes to BIG projects (especially that cost).

I can't wait to hear how Ian does at school today. He was CRACKING HIMSELF UP in bed since 3:30am this morning. He never went back to bed. It's funny to hear him cause I really want to know what he's laughing at. I always say he sees angels. He left for school so pepped, that you'd never know he'd been up that long.

Well, better go get started with some of those things on my list. Have a great day all!

Day 2...Kid Update

Two days in a row...so far, so good.

This is more of a kid update. We started Benjamin on folic acid therapy recently. He's been gaining some words here and there, so I was hoping by starting it, maybe he would soon start putting 2 words together...if he responds the way we've seen Ian respond to it. He was so cute the other day because he imitated what he always hears Ian say after a video has stopped..."uh-oh, stopped!" So cute! I also just got loaned to me an auditory device from our early childhood intervention program. Or maybe it's called augmentory...not sure. Anyway, it's suppose to help with language by having him work on making a choice between 2 items, push the button with the picture of his choice, and hearing the item (plus, we'll add the word "please" to make it 2 words). Goal is that since he's a good imitator, he'll start to imitate what he hears on the device.

Benjamin has also the process to begin the PPCD program (same program Ian started in) at school. As I look at Benjamin, it's so hard for me to imagine Ian that little starting school (Pre-K). As soon as he turns 3 in April, he can start the program. We're so excited to be able to be working with the same teacher Ian had for 3 years. She's just wonderful. And, of course, there's a lot of nervousness because Benjamin and Ian are so different. But I've no doubt it'll be great for him.

Avery is just doing wonderfully....well, if you take out the huge amount of 'attitude' she's gained. :) I was so proud because her Pre-K sent home a note letting us know the kids will be working on learning their phone number....Avery already knows hers, and her address. Hopefully she'll 'show off' her knowledge instead of being shy and acting like she doesn't know it. She's been such a good big and little sister to the boys. She's so loving and caring toward them (when they're not fighting of course). Her and Benjamin are best buds.

Ian is doing great in school. We started working on recognizing numbers at home. I figured out that he can count really well, but he can't recognize that a written number actually stands for something. So, we've been working on the #1 for a couple of weeks now. I made this huge #1 and put it on the wall. Then I spelled the word out and put 1 dinosaur with it. Everyday we would go over it. Everyday he would say every other number but 1. We had a breakthrough 2 days ago! He only called it a 4 before then calling it a 1. I was sooooo proud!

We went to the neurologist a few weeks ago (which is always a waste of my time...gotta find a new one). I told him we would like to switch him off the guanfacine and back to clonodine. Of course, he didn't argue with me (since I know more than him in this area). We think it has helped him out at school by taking partial dose in the morning, then another 4-5 hours later. We've loved it at night because he's practically back to wanting to put himself to bed.

Once again, I'd better end before you decide to quit reading!

New Attempt

Okay, I've been out of the loop for a long time now. Thanks to encouragement from my friend Kathie, I'm ready to start making time for this again. So much going on. Bummer is, with such an open blog, I don't feel safe to post some of it. So, those thoughts and feelings stay to myself...and privied friends.

So, I went scrapbooking this past weekend to the same place I blogged about back several months ago. My friend, Jill, did a wonderful job organizing it, as usual. This group of women was competely different from the usual twice a year crew. Both are unique and fun and great in their own ways. This happened to be a group of 10 others, most of whom I knew the names, but didn't know personally, or barely knew. They happened to be a group I've highly admired for their servant hearts and uncompromising godly characters. So, I felt a bit intimidated going in. Everyone, including myself, was so incredibly blessed by the time we spent with each other. Lots of fun, fellowship, meaningful conversation and just plain silliness. Did I get much done? Ummm, no, but that's okay. I'll be going again in April. Maybe I'll catch up then.

Next thing: My niece (the 20 year old that got married last year and was diagnosed as a carrier) just had her baby this morning at 12:20am. She had a baby girl and named her Adelin Sage (not sure how to spell either). I can't wait to see her.

Next: Ian's program coordinator asked Jim today if we thought we might want to keep Ian in kindergarten another year. AMEN! That's exactly what we were going to ask for.

Next: Our family is transitioning to a new church that has (so far from what we've seen) an incredible special needs program called Special by Design. Although we adore our previous church, we have noticed that we have been so 'overwhelmed' by life that other than attending church on Sundays, we have not sought out ways to serve or fellowship. Even with our homegroup, we started alternating each week between the 2 of us because it gets hard on the kids. So, we heard about the caring SN support at this church, decided to attend, and are now looking for ways to serve to see if the Lord leads us to stay.

I think if I don't end now, this might end up being way to long for my jump back in. So ta-ta for now.

What We Believe

A few weeks ago, Kristie at Life with My X Men posted an entry - religious training and fragile x. I was going to comment on it, but found my comment to be too long and decided to make an entry out of it. My goal is not to offend anyone, but if I do I cannot apologize for it. This is what we believe in our family. And, let me add, I am in no way saying we have all this figured out or that we do it right all the time, but we sure give it a good hidy-ho effort every day. We also are always ready to receive wise guidance from others who believe the same as we do about our Christian doctrines, faith and beliefs as they relate to everyday life.

In our opinion, raising our children to love and have a relationship with Jesus Christ is both the most wonderful and frightening privilege given to us. How on earth do we pass this along to our children.....who currently (1) are very young and (2) do not have the ability to understand things in the same way as typical kids? Well, we figure we do it in exactly the same way we would if they were 'typical'! We lead by example. No, we don't always manage to display the example we would like, but we sure try. When we fail (like totally, totally lose our cool with them, or spank out of anger, etc), we try to chalk it up to what NOT to do instead of beat ourselves up night and day over it. God's grace IS sufficient to gird us up for the next challenge, which is usually just right around the corner. :)

My biggest fears when we got our first diagnosis, and each one after, was "Will they learn to love, and will they know our love and the love of Christ who formed them? Will they ever be able to understand what it means to have a saving relationship with Him?" I cried lots over this. I sometimes still do. But God is so good. He shows me in ways only He could that He is really in charge of it all. I do my part, He promises to do His. So, I cherish the times I watch my kids in front of a Mercy Me DVD dancing up a storm, arms raised, and voices singing and saying things like God is good. It warms my heart when Avery does it, but it runs even deeper when Ian does it. He'll raise his hands and close his eyes. It's just beautiful! And it warms my heart that they enjoy going to Sunday school each week.

With Ian, because of some his difficulties in school, every morning we try to talk about how God made his hands to be nice and his mouth to say nice words. When we see him hit, push, pull hair or say 'stupid', we remind him of these. And we ask him, "Ian what did God make your hands for? Ian, what did God make your mouth for?" That way when he answers, we know he was paying attention. :) Just tonight he was imitating me as I got down on my knees, palms lifted, singing. OMG! And just imagine...if it's that adorable and heart-warming to me, how much more is it to the Lord's!!!! So, although I know that he does not fully understand everything, I do believe with all my heart he will...in the way he can. I believe the Lord really, really wants to be sure I know that

Avery doesn't understand everything yet either, which is fully understandable at her age. But, she is further along in understanding than Ian. She asks questions, likes to pray, and thanks God for EVERYTHING when she prays. She also tells Ian when he's done something that may have made God's heart sad. We've started praying together for her classmates that weren't at school that day because they were sick. One of them was on a trip so Avery wanted to pray that she would be safe. She once made a comment like "God is not real", which brings up really good conversation. Of course it's hard for her to understand when she can't see Him. It's hard for most of us a lot of the time, and she's only 4. We let her know He is real and lives in her heart. Yeah, try to get a 4 year old to understand that. But right now that's one thing we'll keep saying, even though she doesn't understand it yet.

We make sure we don't 'shove' things down their throats or tell them a bunch of heavy stuff they could not understand at this point, like why people die, why bad things happen, how Jesus could actually take care of all of our sins, how He could be everywhere at once, knows all things, etc. Instead we just set the best example we can, and hopefully they will continue on the path they are and will ask more questions as they get older. Then we will know they will be ready to know more. Right now, we let them know what pleases God, what breaks His heart, and that Jesus loves them soooooo much. We believe in 'teachable moments' and look for them all we can.

So, yes, I am a firm believer that fragile x'ers, and all other SN kiddos can know and love Christ and learn what it means to walk with Him. It may or may not look different, but God speaks to their hearts just as much as ours. I will never let anyone lead be to believe otherwise.

Anniversary Trip

This is Jim's face right before he's getting ready to color my hair.

This was a really cool spider that wouldn't let us take it's picture. It kept coming up as this bright light. Pretty clever guy.

"I think we're lost?" "Which way do we go?"

Self pic before our hike.

"Roses in our Garden" Jim's anniversary gift to me to add to my Willow Tree collection.

We just got back from a long wonderful weekend away for our 10th anniversary. We went to an incredible resort in the Ouachita National Forest and Lake area in Arkansas, and it was great. We're already planning to go again with some friends. It was relaxing to be kidless for 4 days. We had great family (thanks Tallmans) and friends (thanks Williams) taking excellent care of our children while we were gone.

We had planned to hike, play tennis (not that either of us play), relax at the spa, go boating to our own island. However, our plans changed a bit due to weather, missing equipment, and an extra long hike. But, no loss. I loved the weather! It was nice and cool, rained a little, and overcast. No humidity! That was the best. That's relaxing weather for me, especially for fall. And let's not forget to mention the beautiful colors! We also met some really fun people.

We left Thursday night, stayed in a hotel along the way; got up the next morning and headed to check-in at the resort. We got there earlier Friday than we thought we would, but thank goodness our room was ready for us to check in. After check-in, we drove into town for a few necessities and checked out town. Then we checked out the resort area. Then, we just sat in our condo and enjoyed....dare I say it.....SILENCE! Ahhhhh! And we enjoyed a wonderful seafood meal cooked by my chef of a husband. Yum!

Saturday, I slept in. Jim has a hard time sleeping in, poor guy. After going back into town to pick up items we should have gotten on our first run, we decided to check out a part of the Vista Ridge trail. We hiked 4 miles. On this part of the trail, we were passed by lots of mountain bikers who were participating in an adventure race that was going on the same weekend. They all looked really tired. We found out later after talking to the coordinator of the race, that the biking part was the last part of the race. Before that, they had been running, canoeing, and hiking off trail with only a compass and map. The entirety of the race was anywhere from 8 to 14 hours.

After getting back to the condo, I enjoyed a nice hot bath (which I don't generally get to enjoy at home). Then we went to the resort restaurant and enjoyed a yummy steak dinner. Then back to the condo for a movie. And I talked Jim into coloring my hair. Never done that before. He's was quite funny.

Sunday morning we got up, ready for our longer hike. This hike ended up being 3.5 miles/2 hours longer than we planned, due to someone's error in reading the map (and can I say, it WASN'T me...miracle). Neither of us cared much though. We actually got quite a good laugh from it. The end result....13 miles of hiking beautiful forest and streams. It's a good thing (1) we packed our good hiking boots for the trip, (2) I didn't sleep in that morning and got a good start time, (3) we packed plenty of power bars and water in the backpack. Our feet were barking at the end. When we got back, I took another nice hot bath. Jim was so hungry he cooked while I bathed. (Yes, I do actually cook for our family. Jim likes to do the cooking on vacation....and I don't argue). So, we enjoyed another of his wonderful meals. Then, because we're both football fans, we watched the Sunday night football game.

Monday morning, we got up, bodies screaming. Poor Jim had blisters on his feet. I went down to the spa for a massage, only to find out they didn't have any openings until 3:00pm.....we had to check out by 11:00am. Lesson learned.....make reservations. So, we packed up, turned in our tennis raquets and keys, loaded up the van (along with the boat we'll use next time as well), and headed home. The kids were great when we picked them up and were great the rest of the night. That made it a nice transition back into the swing of things. Oh how we never take advantage of our time away!